Saying goodbye to an entire decade - and being more than ready to face the next one!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

“It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

It's strange that I came back to this blog today...especially given my last post was January 2018, almost two years ago. Reading my posts from that time have only reminded me of the changes that have happened over the last few years, and that there are probably more waiting around the corner. 

The last few years have been... interesting. To an outsider they probably look absolutely normal and standard, boring even. We haven't moved countries or continents; we haven't moved any physical mountains or ripped a house apart and put it back together. 

These last few years have represented quite a shift in our relationships, to each other and to our children. Probably also to our wider family and friends. It's been a time of tiresome reflection and readjustment, of ironing out wrinkles and realigning ourselves to the lives we live, and the ones we want to live going forward. 

For so many of our (gulp) 13 years together; Gary and I have been in perfect alignment. Through moving house and county three times, having three children and all the upheaval those things can bring, we have been steadfast and together. 

The last two years have brought us to a crossroads, where we were unable to agree on the next steps we would take... or on much at all. in actual fact. 

We all know that married couples can argue about what vegetables to have for dinner, but this felt different. I certainly felt like we had lost the ability to think together, to be on the same page. It's been like wading through treacle, neither of us knowing where the other one stood on practically anything. 

Then late this year, a chance email and the ensuing discussion suddenly seemed to unlock those doors. It was like someone had wiped the slate clean and given us our old selves back. It was just the beginning and we have a long way to go to reclaim the easy compatibility we've always shared, but for the first time in forever (... ahem I haven't been watching Frozen on repeat this Christmas...) I finally feel like we agree in the direction our family ship ought to take. 

I'm excited for 2020 and the possibilities it brings; knowing that we are finally on the same page and heading in the right direction for us as a family. 

To say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, would be an understatement. My health has suffered the last two years, and it's caused me the loss of a job that I loved, friends I still love, and almost my own sanity. For someone with an, ever present, autoimmune disease, 

I've been very very lucky for the most of the decade. But the reality of an autoimmune disease is that relapses will happen... and they've been happening to me since mid 2017. I finally think I've got a handle on it, but it's still a long  road and I'm not yet back to my full self. 

Today I feel like I have finally been given the road map back to full health, and I am ready to start out on that journey. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders and it's given me a new perspective on all of the possibilities that are waiting just around the next corner. 

So the end of this decade has been hard, but the majority of the decade has been full of love, laughter and adventures. The good certainly outweighs the bad and I feel like the bad is totally worth it. 

Tonight I'll be raising a glass to the 20's we are about to enter, the challenges we are about to face, and the adventures we can create, together. 

Happy New Year to all of you - may you night be your kind of fun, and may the new year bring much love and joy. 


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