tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14846274919385874642024-03-13T05:40:45.173+04:00The 21st Century MamaThe21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-32767537802650147422020-03-29T14:32:00.000+04:002020-03-29T14:32:25.455+04:00Living the Unexpected<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/@dariovero_?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.1s ease-in-out, opacity 0.1s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Dario Veronesi</a><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-family: , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/rome?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.1s ease-in-out, opacity 0.1s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
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Part of me didn't want to post anything on here about Covid-19. Mainly because it feels like it has infected the smallest and quietest parts of our lives, and I didn't want to give it any more airtime.<br />
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But it's the elephant in the room. It's the thing we can't ignore. It's the one thing I'm sick of talking about; and yet it's the only thing I am really talking about.<br />
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Checking the news apps a million times a day; speculating on the what ifs and the maybes. Trying to compartmentalise it into a time zone. It will be over in four weeks, it'll be done by the summer... maybe... maybe... maybe.<br />
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As it stands today, the disappointments are small.<br />
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The kids schools closing; necessary from a health standpoint, but reinforcing all the longforgotten reasons why I DID NOT choose to be a teacher.<br />
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Not being able to buy toilet paper; and having to actually drive to the supermarkets because everyone wants a home delivery slot.<br />
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The cancellation of long awaited holidays to Rome (hence the picture) and Florida.<br />
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The feeling of suspended animation. Like watching the tsunami rolling towards you, and having no idea whether you can do anything to help yourself, to help others; or whether the little you can do will be enough.<br />
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Nobody I know is sick yet. I don't know anyone who has actually been diagnosed with Covid-19.<br />
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I don't know anyone currently occupying an intensive care bed; I don't know anyone who has died.<br />
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Yet.<br />
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We are doing what we can, we are trying to carry on. All the while standing at the precipice, waiting for the next move from an invisible force who seems to hold all the cards.<br />
<br />
I move between cracking jokes; telling myself the things I want to believe; and staring into space, an iron fist around my heart.<br />
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My fingers are firmly crossed. </div>
The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-20651624676306093532020-03-25T00:43:00.002+04:002020-03-25T01:03:54.584+04:00Fixing the Broken - my thyroid and its complexities<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Healing is a matter of time, but also sometimes it is a matter of opportunity - Hippocrates</span></div>
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Never has that quote seemed so relevant than it does to me right at this moment.<br />
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I've said before that I have an underactive thyroid. A particularly awkward autoimmune version called Hashimotos.<br />
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Except, it hasn't been all that awkward until recently. I have been really fortunate in my health generally; and in my ability to Google (I found <a href="https://stopthethyroidmadness.com/" target="_blank">Stop the thyroid Madness</a> which explained everything I needed to know). I was diagnosed as having Hashimotos relatively early on, when my body hadn't had too much time to run itself into the ground.<br />
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Not only did I get an early diagnosis from a doctor who looked at the whole person (R.I.P. Dr Skinner), but I was moved fairly rapidly from levothyroxine to NDT (Natural Desiccated Thyroid), which made a massive difference in my recovery and in maintaining a good level of health.<br />
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So, save from the eternal tweaking of my dose, life with Hashimotos has been pretty uncomplicated. I haven't had to do much diet adjusting or supplement taking, or split dosing my tablets to the nth degree.<br />
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Until 2017. When, fresh off the heels of a long pregnancy (which plays havoc with my thyroid), I began my new batch of NDT... unfortunately it turned out (in 2019 when I finally realised) that the formula of the NDT appeared to have been changed, and it was no longer working properly for me, and hadn't been for some time.<br />
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Despite my blood results being absolutely fine, I was sick. I gained 18kgs. I couldn't sleep. I had sugar cravings so bad that I was probably consuming at least 4000 calories a day (hence the weight gain).<br />
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I had brain fog, making even the most simple of tasks confusing. I lost things, I left things all over the place. I couldn't retain information. I was so tired I felt like I was going to pass out.<br />
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It cost me my job, a job I loved, because I could no longer cope with the work.<br />
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I took my eye off the ball, for TWO years. Those of you who also have Hashimotos are probably shaking your heads at the screen as you read.<br />
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The one thing I ought to have learned since I was originally diagnosed in 2007, is that you can never take your health for granted when you have an auto immune disease. It will come back to bite you in the ass.<br />
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My ass is well and truly bitten. I've had sleep studies; I've been on anti depressants; I've had counselling. I have desperately tried to eat healthily and go to the gym. None of these things has produced any results.<br />
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Because my body is broken.<br />
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I realised that the actual culprit for all of the problems was the thing that was staring me in the face, in December 2019. When I went to reorder my medication and randomly checked Stop the Thyroid Madness, to make sure there hadn't been any significant changes in the different brands available.<br />
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I have no idea why I checked, but I'm really glad I did. I swapped brands and for the first time in a long time, light began to form at the end of a very dark and very long tunnel.<br />
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It is a longer tunnel than I thought. I began the better brand in December 2019 and I'm still nowhere near back to anything resembling health.<br />
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What I hadn't appreciated when I was initially diagnosed, was that the majority of people don't feel fine and dandy right away. Most people struggle to actually feel normal again.<br />
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I still have a lot to learn, but I'm starting to make some small steps towards a recovery.<br />
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I now have to set an alarm for 4am, to take my first dose of the day. Because if I don't, I feel like a zombie for days afterwards.<br />
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I know that I need an increased dose. But I can't increase it, even by the smallest amount, because my body acts like I'm trying to poison it. I have to take a small increase once a week at the moment, and hopefully my body will eventually adjust so that I can increase the dose more regularly.<br />
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I felt normal, so I signed up with a personal trainer and took up boxing. After ten days and five sessions, I was on my knees with a fatigue so great that I thought it would swallow me whole (whilst not being able to sleep due to thyroid insomnia). So my heavy weight boxing title is now on pause.<br />
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I still have sugar cravings, but the only thing that actually stops them, is eating fruit, which my body doesn't really want.<br />
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The bad eating? It's become a habit so ingrained that this evening, I reorganised the kitchen so getting to the kids treats takes hard work, in an attempt to stop me eating everything in sight.<br />
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I have become Oscar the Grouch. I am grumpy and see no joy in anything because of the weight of the fatigue. I have everything I could ever want, and I'm incredibly lucky, but sometimes I just can't feel it.<br />
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I can't take noise. I have three amazing, and noisy, children; when they all try to talk to me at once (which is most of the time), my brain literally cannot take it. I want to go curl up in a darkened room and rock slowly until it goes quiet.<br />
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I now have to take so many vitamins that I'm surprised I don't rattle.<br />
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But, I can walk. My body likes me to walk. So I walk. 7.5km a day at a leisurely pace.<br />
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I have learned that a glass of orange juice in the mornings takes away my sugar cravings until at least lunchtime.<br />
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I have learned that eating sugar just makes me feel worse, and that eating fruit makes me feel better. My brain is actually acknowledging that fact, and I am beginning to make better choices.<br />
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I have a lot of learning to do; and lots of unlearning too. I have a lot of bad habits which need to be ironed out as my health slowly improves.<br />
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So I've decided that while we are all quarantined at home, I'm going to work on my habits; reducing the bad, and increasing the good. I'll post more about how I'm doing that next time, as this post is already long enough!<br />
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And I got almost to the end before even mentioning the dreaded virus, which is pretty good given it's all I seem to talk about these days!<br />
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-83282605354739154312020-02-09T13:36:00.001+04:002020-02-09T13:36:24.067+04:00Disney World 2020 - The Planning; decisions, decisions, decisions...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; caret-color: rgb(17, 17, 17); color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/@benjaminjsuter?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.1s ease-in-out, opacity 0.1s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Benjamin Suter</a><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; caret-color: rgb(17, 17, 17); color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/disney?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #767676; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.1s ease-in-out, opacity 0.1s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
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Firstly, how gorgeous is that picture! I usually choose horizontal photographs for my blog posts as I like the symmetry, but this one was too beautiful to ignore! <div>
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So, we are taking the plunge.... we are headed to Disney World in 2020. </div>
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I hadn't realised exactly how much planning goes into a Disney World holiday, but thankfully there are many many websites to help you through the planning stages. </div>
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Here is my take on the planning stages, and the decisions we've made for our family at this stage in our lives. </div>
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<u>Our Family</u></div>
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We are a family of five, with our three children - Miss 7, Mr 6, and Miss 3, by the time we actually land in Florida. </div>
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So we've hit there stage with Miss 7 and Mr 6 where travel isn't such a daunting task. A few new iPad games and some Where's Wally books and they can pretty much entertain themselves for large amounts of time on a flight. </div>
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Miss 3, on the other hand, will be more of a challenge. She's a wriggle who struggles to sit still for a three hour flight, so an 8 hour one is likely to be difficult. We decided that we were going to take the risk anyway, and just get on with the holiday. </div>
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Realistically, we spent a lot of time on 7 hour flights when we lived in Dubai, with two kids who were much younger, and a lot less able to reason. </div>
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I'm an over planner, so I'm sure we can cobble together enough entertainment for the flight, and if not, it's only 8 hours out of your life! Eeeekkk. </div>
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<u>When to go</u></div>
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For Disney World, this appears to be the all important question. And one that was answered for us by one, very important, factor - flight prices. </div>
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We looked at direct flights from the London airports (we are in the Midlands, but travelling to London for the flights is fairly straightforward). Flights at Easter would have cost us £4,000. I have to say this in capitals FOUR THOUSAND POUNDS... for flights!</div>
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So.... ummm, no. </div>
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Flights in May (in school term time), came in at £1,200, direct from Gatwick. </div>
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We are very firmly in favour of term time holidays for our kids, mostly because of the price difference. I know that causes a lot of controversy, but we've made the decision that, as long as our kids are doing well at school, we are happy to take them out of school for two weeks a year. </div>
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We have been very lucky so far that our school/council hasn't fined us. Although the fines would be nothing compared to the increased flight costs of going in the school holidays. </div>
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So not only have we saved a fortune on our flights, but we will also be arriving at Disney World in one of the quietest times of the year. Which is a huge relief given Miss 3 does not like queuing. </div>
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<u>Where to stay</u></div>
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Having read a LOT of blog posts on this subject, I know that the simplest option in terms of getting around the parks, would be to stay on site at Disney World. </div>
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Whilst this might be the simplest logistical solution to getting into the parks, it is not the best solution for us as a family of five. It's a long flight to get there and the entire Disney World experience is likely to be very over stimulating for our kids. I'm expecting meltdowns and complaining and moaning as par for the course.</div>
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So, to be frank, we are all going to need some space for some decompression time. That is not going to happen if we are all staying in one room. </div>
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We are also going to want some time away from the parks to chill out and relax. So constant exposure to Disney theming is probably not going to cut it. </div>
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We made the decision that villa was going to be the best bet for us. It gives us enough space to spread out, everyone can have their own rooms. We can have breakfast at the villa, in peace and quiet, and we have somewhere to retreat to, if it all gets a bit much for the kids. </div>
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Plus, driving to and from the villa might tempt the kids to nap, which I suspect is going to be necessary, if we all want to get through the holiday in one piece. </div>
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We booked a villa at Reunion Resort through <a href="https://www.thetopvillas.com/" target="_blank">Top Villas</a>. They have already been fantastic with us, as we needed to amend the booking. As we have a night flight back, we have extended our stay by one night, so that we don't have to check out at midday on the day we leave. We can have a leisurely day in the villa, by the pool, and be rested and relaxed when we head to the airport. </div>
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Reunion Resort is about a 20 minute drive from the parks, plus we know we are going to have to park and then walk to the entrance to the park. It is going to add on to our days; but I think it's the best compromise. </div>
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We are unlikely to be in the parks from dawn until dusk, so being able to get out and to somewhere quiet and calm is going to be important for us. </div>
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<u>Universal? </u></div>
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When I saw the price of the park tickets I almost cried. I am not careful with money, in fact it practically burns a hole in my pocket, but hitting "pay" to buy the tickets was a painful experience. </div>
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Disney World currently has an offer of Get 14 days for the Price of 7... which for the five of us costs a grand total of £1,935.... ouch. </div>
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That was hard enough to swallow, but then comes the big question - do we do Universal too? </div>
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I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan, and I would love to see Harry Potter World at Universal. But those park tickets are also hideously expensive. We had quite a few discussions over a few weeks, trying to decide whether the kids would really get enough out of it, and whether it was really worth spending the money. </div>
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In the end, the deciding factor for us was that we weren't sure whether we would do Florida again. There are lots of places we would like to visit, and Florida was an expensive holiday. </div>
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After checking all of the discount ticket websites we could find, we decided to buy the tickets through Disney and Universal direct. For a 14 day Disney ticket, and a 3 day Universal ticket, it was only about £50 cheaper to go through the discount websites, and for peace of mind we decided to book direct. </div>
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We knew we didn't need 14 days at Disney and 14 days at Universal, as our kids are quite young, the Magic Kingdom is likely to be our main base. </div>
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<u>Character Dining</u></div>
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After a lot of (more) thought, we decided we weren't going to do any character dining at Disney or Universal. </div>
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We've had friends go to Disney recently who said that their kids weren't that bothered about the characters, and getting up close to them. Plus it's another rather large expense, that we didn't really think was worth it. </div>
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So we didn't bother to book any Disney dining when the reservations opened. </div>
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<u>Fast Passes</u></div>
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As we haven't yet hit the 30 day Fast Pass opening, I'm still trying to work out which Fast Passes we want. </div>
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Miss 3 is too small for most of the bigger thrill rides; plus I'm not entirely sure that Miss 7 or Mr 6 will be too keen. We went to Cbeebies land recently, and both refused to ride on the Octonaughts roller coaster, which was pretty tame. </div>
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So we are aiming for the first days at Disney and Universal to be based around the smaller rides, with no height limit. To be on the safe side I'll add some of the bigger rides in on our fast passes later on, and hopefully they'll be more keen after a week of riding roller coasters! </div>
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<u>Next Steps</u></div>
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So we've made quite a few decisions, which go against quite a bit of the advice available from seasoned Disney goers. Whilst staying on site would be magical, we just couldn't afford to spend the money, to ensure we got enough space and calm that we felt we would need. </div>
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Hopefully we'll have made the right choices for us as a family. </div>
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Next up - packing. We are attempting to pack light this time (as we'll have a washing machine); especially as we are expecting to come home with much more than we went out with! The kids have been given dollars for their birthdays and christmas presents from family and friends, so I suspect there will be a few more toys on the return journey! </div>
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My next blog posts will be centred around packing both our suitcases and cabin bags for the trip. Once it goes live, I'll link to it HERE.<br /><br /></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-50446869359441927432019-12-31T18:55:00.003+04:002019-12-31T18:55:30.893+04:00Saying goodbye to an entire decade - and being more than ready to face the next one! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">“It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — </span><span style="border: 0px; box-shadow: rgb(104, 227, 180) 0px -4px 0px inset; color: black; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.25s; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://everydaypower.com/f-scott-fitzgerald-quotes/" style="border: 0px; box-shadow: rgb(104, 227, 180) 0px -4px 0px inset; color: black; margin: 0px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.25s; vertical-align: baseline;">F. Scott Fitzgerald</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">It's strange that I came back to this blog today...especially given my last post was January 2018, almost two years ago. Reading my posts from that time have only reminded me of the changes that have happened over the last few years, and that there are probably more waiting around the corner. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">The last few years have been... interesting. To an outsider they probably look absolutely normal and standard, boring even. We haven't moved countries or continents; we haven't moved any physical mountains or ripped a house ap</span><span style="font-size: medium;">art and put it back together. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">These last few years have represented quite a shift in our relationships, to each other and to our children. Probably also to our wider family and friends. It's been a time of tiresome reflection and readjustment, of ironing out wrinkles and realigning ourselves to the lives we live, and the ones we want to live going forward. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">For so many of our (gulp) 13 years together; Gary and I have been in perfect alignment. Through moving house and county three times, having three children and all the upheaval those things can bring, we have been steadfast and together. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">The last two years have brought us to a crossroads, where we were unable to agree on the next steps we would take... or on much at all. in actual fact. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">We all know that married couples can argue about what vegetables to have for dinner, but this felt different. I certainly felt like we had lost the ability to think together, to be on the same page. It's been like wading through treacle, neither of us knowing where the other one stood on practically anything. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">Then late this year, a chance email and the ensuing discussion suddenly seemed to unlock those doors. It was like someone had wiped the slate clean and given us our old selves back. It was just the beginning and we have a long way to go to reclaim the easy compatibility we've always shared, but for the first time in forever (... ahem I haven't been watching Frozen on repeat this Christmas...) I finally feel like we agree in the direction our family ship ought to take. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">I'm excited for 2020 and the possibilities it brings; knowing that we are finally on the same page and heading in the right direction for us as a family. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">To say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, would be an understatement. My health has suffered the last two years, and it's caused me the loss of a job that I loved, friends I still love, and almost my own sanity. For someone with an, ever present, autoimmune disease, </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">I've been very very lucky for the most of the decade. But the reality of an autoimmune disease is that relapses will happen... and they've been happening to me since mid 2017. I finally think I've got a handle on it, but it's still a long road and I'm not yet back to my full self. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">Today I feel like I have finally been given the road map back to full health, and I am ready to start out on that journey. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders and it's given me a new perspective on all of the possibilities that are waiting just around the next corner. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">So the end of this decade has been hard, but the majority of the decade has been full of love, laughter and adventures. The good certainly outweighs the bad and I feel like the bad is totally worth it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">Tonight I'll be raising a glass to the 20's we are about to enter, the challenges we are about to face, and the adventures we can create, together. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">Happy New Year to all of you - may you night be your kind of fun, and may the new year bring much love and joy. </span></span><br />
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-44408689366621764372018-01-17T16:42:00.001+04:002018-01-17T16:42:42.911+04:00Making a Marriage Work<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCE76XsQpkSy2R8R3XVPQnDslYPpwUSwnX3uJ9SrmBLdG6TLM-OJGMdz09Y8ax1JqtyT7MtXwvSkPMDGgFiFw8Ze-1CdLX3PjYd0PcC_2cZqrEoE5Jan-DKsE5A8dwsnfeys1ViBVHVMc/s1600/BKP_0984.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCE76XsQpkSy2R8R3XVPQnDslYPpwUSwnX3uJ9SrmBLdG6TLM-OJGMdz09Y8ax1JqtyT7MtXwvSkPMDGgFiFw8Ze-1CdLX3PjYd0PcC_2cZqrEoE5Jan-DKsE5A8dwsnfeys1ViBVHVMc/s640/BKP_0984.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Ohana means Family; Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's funny how moving away from something completely changes your perspective on it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When I got married, I KNEW I'd nailed it. I married a wonderful man who was supportive and fantastic and made my heart explode. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now, I realise that all of those things were, and are, true; but that's not necessarily an indicator of a successful marriage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The older I get, and the further down the marriage road we get, the more I realise that so much of our happiness is down to luck. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When we got married, we were in the easiest phase of life. We had no responsibilities; we had so much time. We had flexibility and lots of choices to make. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We could make those choices without really impacting on each other. If Gary had to work, I met some friends for dinner. If I was out with friends, Gary went to the gym, or went out himself. We flexed and we made it work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That life was so simple. No wonder we barely argued. No wonder we loved our lives together. Life was easy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Married life is a little (a lot) more complex. Even without children, we are tied together in a way we weren't before. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Gary was offered a job in Qatar, just before we got married, and we had to make that decision together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It was the first time that we had had to make decisions that really impacted on each other. Gary's decision to take that job, meant me giving up mine and moving to another continent. We agreed the decision together, because it worked for us both at that time. We were planning to start a family, so giving up my job wasn't necessarily that much of a hardship as I'd be on maternity leave anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then we had children. Gary's job took him away for a week or so at a time. Now his decisions at work impacted on both me and the children. I couldn't just swan off to brunch on a Friday or for ladies night on a Tuesday. I had children to take care of, to be there for, to get up in the night with. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He couldn't just come home from a night flight and go to bed, or sleep on a sun lounger by the pool. He came home to a tired, cranky wife, who had long since passed her point of no return with either one or two children. He had to come home and pick up the mantle of Daddy, despite being shattered, because at that moment, I had nothing left to give. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then Gary accepted a job back in the UK. It was a decision made because it was the best fit for us all as a family. It was an easy decision to make. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We could get the children settled at home, before school applications were due for Miss S; I could go back to work (and boy was I ready to return to the workplace) and Gary got a great new job, a promotion, and a new challenge. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And we did, Miss S went to school, I went back to work and Gary got on tackling his new challenge (with great gusto). We settled into our new rhythm; albeit it rather more slowly and painfully than I had expected. We made it work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Then we had decided to have another baby. I don't think either of us had any idea of the impact a third child would have. We were in a great rhythm and routine, one which has been thoroughly thrown out of the window! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My pregnancies are always rotten, 9 months of hyper emesis does not make it a pleasant exercise; but this time, throw in a kidney infection and SPD along with a 4 day a week job (with a daily 3 hour commute) and it was fairly horrendous. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">During said kidney infection, Gary had to go to India with work. HAD TO. There was no one else to go, and he had to go and see to his job. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was beyond pissed. I saw his decision to go as a betrayal. For the first time, I think ever, I questioned whether our marriage could work. I didn't know if I could forgive him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My friends rallied round, taking time off work and travelling cross country to come and help; for which I am eternally grateful and can never thank them enough. But the whole time I was thinking "you shouldn't have to be here, Gary should have been here". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I also began to question the decision to have a third child. Had we bitten off more than we could chew? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It took me a long time to see this incident from Gary's point of view. For me to recognise that him bearing the entire financial responsibility for our family, is quite a big weight around his shoulders. That he had tried to stay at home, but other things had prevented him from doing so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That he had felt he had no option but to go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It took time, and distance from the incident, before I could even begin to try to look at it from his point of view. I think I'm only now beginning to come to terms with it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes the decisions aren't easy. Sometimes they are really really hard and you can't win no matter what you do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Little S is a truly joyful addition to our family and I love her more than I can articulate. I am so glad that we made the decision to add one more to our crazy family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But the pressure of three children, and the logistics that go with them, have pushed me to the edge of my mental sanity. There are nights when I literally don't know how I'm going to get out of bed (again) because I'm so tired and mornings when eating ice cream is the only way I'm going to summon up the energy to keep the ball rolling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Having three children has compressed the time available to us; has severely restricted the time for us to be us; to enjoy time with each other. The additional workload (both from work and family life) pushes buttons and unleashes frustrations that we have never had to deal with before. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now, less decisions seem easy. Gary planning out his travelling with work is difficult. He has work deadlines and pressures (that mostly I have no idea about, and do not understand) which he has to accommodate; plus he is trying to accommodate our needs (my needs) and to predict the future. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Gary cannot know that we'll all go down with the flu two days before he leaves for a week; but let me tell you, I'll resent him getting on that plane and leaving me with a house of sick children while I'm sick myself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The pressure to find some kind of balance is always there, pressing on us both from different angles and different places. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Big decisions are also harder. Miss S is settled at school and I am settled at work (with no intention of ever needing maternity leave ever again). So what do we do if Gary's gets offered another overseas posting? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I'm terrified that an offer like that, might cause some permanent damage in our relationship. Who yields? We sacrifices? Who is making the bigger sacrifice? What is best for the family; and how do you measure that? Does the pay increase, which provides more opportunities, make it best? Is stability for all of us for the best? Even when it leaves Gary in a position where he can't advance his career? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It seems ridiculous to be terrified by hypothetical things, which may never happen. But I have come to realise that the reason our marriage works is because of luck. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am lucky that Gary sees me as an equal, that he is 100% involved with the kids; that he commits himself to work and to us and lets everything else fall, even himself. Our money is family money, there's rarely a debate about finances, other than accepting that <u>we</u> have overspent (again). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Neither of us had any idea of how the other might react to the things married life has brought us. Gary could have resented paying for everything while I was at home with the kids; had expectations that I would do every last scrap of housework, as he was working full time. He could have refused to do 50% of the night feeds, because he was working. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am lucky that he is every bit the wonderful man that I thought he was on the day that I married him. But I had no idea on that day, how those pressures would shape him (and me). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know he works hard for us, and with us. I know when he internally sighs when I'm sick and he has to take up the slack, even when he is supposed to be having some time to himself. I know he gets up, even when it is my "turn" because I've been up three times already and I have lost the plot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">A marriage takes work. It doesn't just take us working together, it takes us working individually on being the best husband/wife and parent we can be. It's about biting your lip when your partner is in a foul mood; because you know they are tired beyond belief, and that this is not how they usually behave. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I hope Gary knows that I'm working on our marriage too. That there are times that I pretend the kids slept ok, when the truth is that I'm sitting there in yoga pants trying to keep my eyes open because no one slept and I don't think I saw my bed much at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That when he is sick, I try to look after him; give him time and space to heal; even when I'm quietly furious because he's about to travel with work, and his illness is bloody inconvenient and placing even more stress on me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Most of all, I hope that we both know that the other is trying their best. Trying to be everything to everyone and to get done what needs to be done. That we both fall short sometimes, and that we understand that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That even when we are frustrated and mad at each other and at the world, that we are both still trying to make it work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This was a reading from our wedding. I hadn't even noticed it's significance until today: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">Extract</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;"> from Les Miserables</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">Victor Hugo</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">(1802-1885)</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">You can give without loving,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">but you can never love without giving. </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">The great acts of love are done </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">by </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">those</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">We pardon to the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">extent </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">that we love. </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">never </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">be </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">lonely again. </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">loved.</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #212121;">Small acts of kindness. That's exactly it, I hope we continue to perform small acts of kindness for each other, even when its hard, even when it's easier not to. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #212121;">When we were planning our wedding ceremony, we wrote a version of our own vows. I have a copy of the ceremony safe in my emails, something which I hadn't opened until today. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #212121;">I meant those vows then, even when I didn't understand what they meant. And I mean them now. I know we will go through more hardships, we may lose people; we may lose jobs or money or our health, but I still promise to stay and to work, and to try to see the wonder in the man that I married. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I, Lora take you Gary, to be my husband,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">knowing that you will be my constant friend,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">my faithful partner in life, and my one </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">true love.</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I affirm to you in the presence of these </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">witnesses </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">my promise to stay by your side as your wife</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I promise to love you without reservation,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">to comfort you in times of distress,</span><br /><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I promise to encourage you to achieve all</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">of your goals,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">To laugh with you and cry with you,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">To grow with you in mind and spirit,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I promise to always be open and honest </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">with you,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I promise to be true to you</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">In good times and in bad,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">In sickness and in health.</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">I will love you and honor you,</span><br style="color: #212121;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">All the days of my life.</span></i></span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-79936110158190328892018-01-12T14:47:00.001+04:002018-01-12T14:47:36.342+04:00Unrealistic Expectations<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/2oFdVd00xOg?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Samuel Scrimshaw</a><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Vince Lombardi</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Gary once said to me that we should always assume positive intent when interpreting other people's actions. It stayed with me, and is something I reflect on quite a lot. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's also the hardest thing to do, especially when you aren't feeling right, or are struggling with something and want/need support. It's easy to assume someone doesn't care because they aren't in a position to be as present or as supportive as you would like. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">The one thing that having three children has taught me, is that sometimes the weight of your own life, even when it's going really well, can be so much of a burden that there just </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">isn't room for anything else. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In learning that sometimes I just have nothing left to give to other people (including my kids and my husband, and even myself), it really brought home the unrealistic expectations I have often had of my family and friends. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It has made me realise that I can often be too harsh about other people, and judge them, without really reflecting on whether my expectations are too high. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Or, even if they are not too high, that my expectations may not be able to be met by a particular person (or anyone at all), not because they don't want to, but because there is only such much burden one person can shoulder. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>Expectations on Other People</u></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Gary and I got married in California...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which sounds fine, until you realise that we lived in Manchester, UK. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We decided to have our wedding 3,000 miles from home, on a farm, in the middle of Santa Barbara, about as far from an airport/train station as possible. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was so consumed with having "Our day, our way" that I barely gave much thought to the pressure we were placing on our nearest and dearest. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I felt like I was being graceful, because we didn't expect people to come. We understood that it would not be possible for everyone to come, that it would be too much of a time or financial (or both!) commitment for some of our friends and family. (I'm seriously rolling my eyes at myself nowadays). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The only wedding I had ever been to, at this point, was my mum's wedding to my step-dad. Mum arranged and paid for everything for us, and we pretty much just showed up. So I had absolutely no understanding about the pressure of a close friend or family member getting married half way around the world. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because it wasn't about me being "graceful" about people not coming to our wedding. It was about our friends and family who actually WANTED to come to our wedding, who had to reconcile the enormous sacrifices of actually making that happen. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had thirty guests at our wedding. All of whom were cheerful and excited and said all the right things about our wedding... To our faces anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure there was quite a bit of cursing going on when they realised how much flights were going to cost to California in school holidays; and while they were trying to figure out how the hell they were going to get from LAX to our wedding venue up the the mountains. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">in hindsight, I wasn't graceful, they were the graceful ones. They smiled and didn't complain and our wedding truly was the most magical day. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is even more magical now, in hindsight, now that I understand a little more about the cost of our guests actually showing up. Watching our wedding video has taken on new meaning, and I realise how truly "blessed" I actually am. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now that I have been to a few more weddings, taken time off work, booked hotel rooms and made travel arrangements, I understand just how bloody selfish we were! How little we even considered the needs and wants of other people, when planning the logistics for our wedding.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>Expectations on Ourselves</u></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have always considered myself to be a good friend. Better than a good friend, I would have said I was a ruddy excellent friend, thank you very much. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I would always take phone calls, even late into the night, for an upset friend; always be there when they needed me; drop plans when they had problems. I was rocking the whole friendship thing...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Except, it's kind of easy to do that when you are in a nice easy relationship with no pressures, no real responsibilities and a pretty straightforward life with lots of room around the edges. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was a good friend because I had the time. I had the mental space to remember other people's job interview's and doctors appointments and anniversaries of their parent's death. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I sent cards, flowers, presents. I was present. I knew the right thing to say, I knew when to show up, even when friends said it wasn't needed (because I knew that they did need it). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, I'm not that great a friend. I mean to be. I try to be. But I'm falling short of the expectations I have for myself. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The worst part, is that I no longer know the right thing to say. I get tongue tied and clumsy and say things that just sound weird. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hear the words come out of my mouth and I have no idea what possessed me. Even if the words are right, often the tone is wrong. I feel the words fall flat and I know I've missed the mood. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't have the mental space to feel other people's pain in the way that I used to. I can't feel my way through it now. I no longer know instinctively what to say, or what to do. It leave me hesitant and strangely anxious and whatever I seem to say comes out wrong. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can't show up in the same way as before either. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Before we had kids, my mum fell down the stairs and broke both of her legs. I got the call at 1am, and I got dressed and headed straight to the hospital. I took emergency leave from work and I stayed with her while she had surgery. My step-dad and I sat in her hospital room until 3am while she was in recovery. I ran errands, I was useful, I was supportive. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Last year mum fell down the stairs (again) and broke several ribs. I wasn't there. I didn't get there. I didn't go to the hospital, I did visit her at home. I'm not even sure I sent flowers. I wanted to, but I didn't. I dropped the ball. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I called and text and tried to offer some support over the phone, but I fell short of the expectations I have for myself, and probably the expectations my mum had for support from her only daughter.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of my closest friend's husbands was taken ill a couple of years ago. Really sick. Blue lighted to hospital sick. I fell short of the expectations I have for myself. I wasn't really there. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We don't live very close anymore, and though I don't think my friend ever expected me to get on a train (although I certainly could have, certainly should have), I barely called or text. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was a little bit supportive when it originally happened (long distance and by phone only), and then, I wasn't. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My friend isn't the type to complain, or to push for support, even when she needs it the most. I KNOW that. I know that getting her to talk about what is going on with her, isn't easy. I know her well enough to know I needed to be the one calling and texting and making my presence felt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I didn't. The worst part is that I wasn't even aware that I wasn't doing it. I didn't realise until much later, until I realised how much support had been provided by other friends, friends who were significantly better friends during that period than I had been. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I didn't just drop that ball, I dropped it and it rolled behind the sofa, never to be seen again. When I realised, I felt, still feel, ashamed. That's not the friend I want to be. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recently, another friend lost her dad. I knew he was sick, I knew she was devastated. I knew she was coming to stay with him, close to where I live. I dropped that ball too. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I only realised I had dropped that ball when she apologised to me, for not getting in touch when she was back. While she was dealing with the prospect of losing a parent, while looking after her children, in someone else's house, she felt bad that she hadn't been in touch with me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">All of this, it made me realise that I often judge other's too harshly. That I often get frustrated when people don't drop everything to provide support when I need it. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm pretty vocal when I'm having a hard time, every man and his dog knows it, it's how I cope with it. I talk too much and nothing much changes when I'm having a hard time. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Having three children has taught me that I need to practice what I preach. I need to assume positive intent when people don't provide the support that I feel I need. That sometimes people unintentionally drop balls; unintentionally cannot be there for you, even though they love you and want to support you. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes a person you love isn't even on your radar, even though you want them to be, even though they need you to be. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">All my family and friends have been nothing but gracious about my inability to be the supportive person I used to be. For that I'm really grateful. That makes me realise exactly how incredible my family and friends are, and how unbelievably lucky I am. </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-52124497335528744892017-12-31T18:03:00.001+04:002017-12-31T18:04:53.461+04:00New Year's Resolution - To Do Less<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span cwidth="0" eza="cwidth:0px;;cheight:0px;;wcalc_source:child;wcalc:86px;wocalc:86px;hcalc:836px;rend_px_area:0;" style="background-size: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 750px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. </i></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As 2017 draws to a close, it's time to reflect on the year behind us and look forward to the year ahead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2017 has been a brilliant year in many ways. Little S arrived safe and sound and has been a joyful addition to our family. We've attended close friends' weddings and spent time with friends and family that we love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But it has been an exhausting year. I am currently taking my next round of antibiotics, having come down with tonsillitis on Christmas Eve. It definitely feels like a bit of a hint from those in charge that I have tried to cram too much into the year.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been feeling it since about September, when Little S caught cold after cold after cold, basically leading up to Christmas Eve, when I finally went down with tonsillitis in complete defeat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We struggled through Christmas presents opening (Gary and Little S were also down with a stomach bug) and then took it in turns sleeping/child handling. Christmas Dinner was delayed for two days and we are still nowhere near back to fighting fit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I like to plan, and I like to see people. I love having things to do and people to see. So I plan as much in as I can, and this year, I planned too much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have basically, single handedly, run us all into the ground.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For all the talk back in July and August about taking care of my mental and physical health, I've done nothing but put pressure on all of us, and leave no room to breathe. It's left me a shell of myself and, worse, it's left the kids with the worst version of me. I have no patience and I have no time to play properly with them. That has to change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are a family, and families require maintenance to make them run smoothly. It's taken me getting sick to realise exactly how much has to change, and how difficult it is to change a mindset.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So here goes, my New Year's Resolution for 2018 is To Do Less.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Doing less is going to need to include the following:</span><br />
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<u><span style="font-size: large;">Kids Logistics: </span></u><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Gary's work logistics are so complex that updating his calendar is literally a full time job. He, quite frankly, does not have the time to get involved in the logistics of the kids and their various activities and social lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It falls to me, which is fine, until I get a bit over excited and schedule in too much. I have spent the year in a frenzy of playdates and structured activities and school logistics and just more and more stuff.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We ended up just not going to some of the Christmas activities I had planned (and paid for) because we were just all too tired to actually benefit from it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thankfully we have already sorted the main stressor, having the kids at nursery/after school clubs. It just was not working. Gary already works in various places/abroad and long hours and along side my 3 hour round trip into Birmingham each working day, it was just not manageable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was ducking out of work at 5pm exactly and racing for the train, racing for the car and racing (well, crawling in heavy traffic) towards the nursery/after school clubs for the 6pm closing time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then we were getting the kids bundled in the car, home and then there was a frenzied hour of food, bath and bed. There are no time to play, there was no time to just be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We had already had our amazing nanny work one day a week with us, which massively took the pressure off for us. When we got home, they are in the their pyjamas, they have been fed and bathed and they are ready for an hour or so of quiet quality time. It changed the whole dynamic of the day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It also meant that if my train was cancelled or I needed to work late (and Gary couldn't get home for 6pm) that there was someone with them, who could put them to be if necessary. The relief that this gave me was massive. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So we have increased her hours for when I go back to work from maternity leave. This should give us a lot more flexibility and a lot less stress, firstly because she's incredible and secondly because I don't have to clock watch constantly from 4pm to make sure my work is done and I can be out of the door.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here are the changes that I'm planning to implement in the New Year for the kids activities/logistics:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">Our nanny has kindly agreed to do some of the kids washing while I am at work (which makes me have a vague hope that the mountain of washing will become more like a big hill!); she will also do some reading with the kids after school (which will help a lot as we'll have two infant school children come September) and take them to swimming straight from school (so we don't have to do it on a Saturday!); </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Reduce their activities to swimming plus one other. Miss S wants to do literally everything, and I've spent the last term ferrying her to and from no less that six separate activities. I am exhausted, mentally, and she is exhausted physically. There is plenty of time to add in more activities as they get older, but for now, I have to accept that four activities is enough for me to logistically manage (in terms of paying fees and organising clothing each week etc) and for us to have to shuttle the kids to and from. It's also enough for the other kids to have to stand round and watch! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">One playdate each a month. That is whether they go to someone's house or come to our house. I try to keep them on the same day each time, so that in one hit I've done both kids playdates. Otherwise one of the days per week that we have no activities, I'm constantly in and out of the house trying to drop off or pick up, or entertaining other children at my house. It has just become too much. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Parties. Hmmmm. This one is more tricky. I want to reduce the amount of parties that my kids go to, but I'm not sure of the best way to go about it. Obviously it's rude to drop out of one party in favour of another, but currently we spend at least 3 or 4 days a month ferrying the two older kids to birthday parties, and that is only going to increase when Little S joins the birthday party ranks. I think we are going to accept the invitations from children who I know our children play with, rather than just accepting every invitation which arrives. Otherwise the first three months of 2018 may be a repeat of 2017, when we went to a party a week for 12 weeks! </span></li>
</ul>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;">Social Life Logistics:</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is the hard one. I already feel like I barely see some of my longest and closest friends. There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day/days in the week as it is, and so I've been really reluctant to scale any of our social life back. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But the reality is, I'm not 21 anymore. There isn't just me and Gary to think of, to take time for. We have three kids who need a lot of time. Much more time than I thought. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even though Miss S and Master L aren't babies anymore, they need more quality time with us than ever before. They need interaction and space to play and to return to us. This has to fit in around the inevitable life admin that needs to be done, plus carving out some time for me and Gary (together and separately). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It was much easier when we lived in Dubai. Most of my local friends didn't work, so we used to meet up during the daytime. My international friends and family were regularly called and skyped, which tided us over until the next visit, which was inevitably months apart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our weekends were our own to potter about and do family things with no pressure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For some reason, the telephone calls and skyping stopped as soon as we got back to the UK. As if we were suddenly around the corner and telephone calls were now redundant. We booked in more face to face time, just because the travel was less.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I went back to work, which moved most of my socialising to evenings and weekends, further cutting into family time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So I've been taking an honest look at my calendar for the last few months, and have had to make some difficult choices in order to keep us all from getting run down and sick. I'm definitely going to begin scheduling in telephone calls again, and making sure I can maintain my relationships even when it's not possible to physically be in the same room.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Social life adjustments:</span><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To have family/friends stay over a maximum of once a month. Due to my overzealous scheduling, we had family and friends to stay over three consecutive weekends in November. It was fabulous, but we fell behind on the washing and homework and stayed up late, and drank too much, and ate too much. I'm definitely getting too old for that much excitement! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To use one weeknight a week to catch up with friends by telephone. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To schedule one date night a month with Gary, so we get some time to ourselves. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To go out with mutual friends once every 6 weeks or so.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">For me to reduce my nights out to 1 or 2 a month. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To go to the gym during the week, but not at weekends, keeping them clear. </span></li>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;">Work Life Logistics</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm not going to lie, my first year back at work was a bit of a disaster. Trying to navigate work and the logistics of the kids and drop offs and pick ups and late nights and working away was much harder than I thought. Neither Gary nor I work a standard 9-5 job, overtime is expected and necessary, and as is some travel (Gary more than me).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The set up we had was just not working and I was the one feeling the strain, because the responsibility of all childcare essentially fell to me. Gary is the higher earner and we need him to be doing his job properly or the mortgage doesn't get paid!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My job, whilst I love it and I don't want to stop working, doesn't bring much additional income at all once we have paid for the childcare we need and for my travel into Birmingham. Obviously our childcare costs should decrease over time, and hopefully my wages will rise, but it still means that me going to work is essentially an optional extra, which sometimes we cannot afford because of the time pressures it places on our family.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now that we have our nanny providing childcare three days per week, that should take a lot of pressure off me. If any of the kids are sick, then our nanny will be there to look after them. If it's the school holidays, the costs don't increase because we are already paying our nanny. If the trains are running late, the kids will still be fed, bathed and, if necessary, in bed at the usual time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So that's the majority of the childcare related stressors taken care of, but what about work itself? My ability to complete my work to the best of my ability was always compromised by my need to clock watch. I had to pick and choose what work I would complete when, and there wasn't a great deal of wriggle room, when something urgent came up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Again, most of that should now have been resolved, but I still need to build in a little more of a contingency plan. A little more dedicated time, so I know I can put more into my work.</span><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Plan to work late one night a week. This means that our nanny knows I'm coming home late. So she can work towards bedtime, in case Gary doesn't get home before then. It also means that I can stay and, even if I'm not overrun with work, I can get a little ahead, building in some time for when the inevitable emergency crops up. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Not having to dive out of the door at 5pm on the dot. Previously I was having to get one the first train, to make allowances for traffic, or so that if it was cancelled, I had a chance of getting on the second one and being at nursery for 6pm. Now I can stay and just finish off what I'm doing, knowing that if I don't get home until 6:10pm, the kids are fine and taken care of. </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Phew, that is a MASSIVE post. It took writing it out to realise exactly how much pressure I had been placing on everyone in the family by jam-packing our schedule in every direction with stuff. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">For those of you who will be in bed before midnight, I hope 2018 brings you a lie in! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">For those of you who will still be partying this New Year's Eve, I hope the hangover is short and that 2018 starts with a bang. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Much love xx</span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-66896369989288422072017-10-04T19:42:00.002+04:002017-10-04T19:42:27.232+04:00Miss S turns 5!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Let me love you a little more, before you're not little anymore. </i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Miss S you have just turned five years old! I literally have no idea where the time went and I cannot believe that you have already been at school for a year and have begun Year 1. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The last 12 months have been such a big change for you, and you have handled starting school brilliantly. You are the youngest in your year, but you took school completely in your stride and, save for the first week back to school after Christmas, you have never shown any reluctance about going to school. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You seem to love reading, and you were asking to do your homework for most of Reception year. You even got Star of the Week for being a good example to others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You found it hard at the end of the school year when you realised that your class was going to be mixed up, and you aren't going to be with all of your friends in Year 1. Sade is going into the other class, and you are sad that she isn't going to be in your class everyday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You've discovered You've Been Framed, which has you giggling your head off! You have a really great sense of humour and have been discovering joke books, which you find so funny. You love your princess and ballerina books and anything pink. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You are sucking your thumb again, having not sucked it (save for bedtime) for over 9 months. I think the end of the school year was pretty exhausting for you, and we have struggled to get you to give it up since! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You are generally sunny and cheerful and you are happy to help me by fetching things and getting yourself dressed. Although you do occasionally huff and puff about having to do "chores". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You've also just finished your first ballet show, which you did without even a backwards glance. You love being around people and have found the summer holidays hard because you were without all of your friends every day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We've had an amazing year this year and I can't wait to spend the next one with you. I'm so proud of the person you are and the person you are becoming. I hope you keep that sunny disposition and your relaxed attitude to all that you do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I love you. xx</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This year I decided to begin asking Miss S and Master L some questions, so I can chart some of the things they love as we enter each new year:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite thing to wear? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>My grey dress.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite colour? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Pink.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite toy? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>My tsum tsums. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is one new thing you learned this year? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>That now we get new home books. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">How do you like to spend your time? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Go out with the whole of my family. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite time of year?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>August - because that's when my birthday is. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Who is your teacher? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Miss Wall. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Who are your best friends? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Sade and Emmeline. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite song? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Mary Mary Quite Contrary. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite book? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>My ballerina stories book. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What did you love most about this year? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>The last day of school. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What are you looking forward to next year? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Doing new things. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What are you best at? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Playing with my friends. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What do you want to be when you grow up? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i> A teacher. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite movie? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Aladdin. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite food? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Sausage rolls. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What is your favourite animal? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Unicorn. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The best thing about you is? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>That I do lots of art. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">What do you want to practice next year? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Hopping because I normally falled over. </i></span><br />
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-55073555114919753142017-09-19T12:00:00.000+04:002017-09-19T12:00:40.099+04:00A Wardrobe Overhaul - Smart Casual, with and without kids!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Dress shabbily and they remember the dress. Dress impeccably and they remember the woman. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Coco Chanel</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So, having talked about <a href="http://the21stcenturymama.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/searching-for-my-style-mojo.html" target="_blank">the quest to find my style mojo</a>, I've been spending quite a bit of time thinking about my wardrobe and what I want it to look like going forwards. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've been through my wardrobe and pulled out those things that I no longer like. It's still left me with quite a big wardrobe, no capsule wardrobe for me! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">However, I have noticed that I don't seem to have versatile outfits. I have half outfits, or pieces that are good for one season but can't be transferred to another season with ease. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I've decided to work on adding on those things to my wardrobe which I think will enhance what is already in it, and not adding in more than one or two new outfits. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have also realised that I have different wardrobes for different occasions, namely: </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Work;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Going out;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Casual with the kids;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Smart casual with the kids;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Smart casual WITHOUT the kids. </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to work through what I have in my (recently reduced) wardrobe, and those items I am thinking about adding to my wardrobe to make the pieces I have work a little better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><u><span style="color: #bf9000;">Smart Casual</span></u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">As much as I love my yoga pants, I don't really like being photographed in them! I also want to be that woman who is pristine; who always looks well dressed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">At the same time, being a mum, my clothes need to be practical and comfortable, especially as I spend a lot of time sitting on the floor, and I get covered in sticky fingerprints. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I feel like my recent efforts to be practical and comfortable have left me with a sensible wardrobe but it doesn't really suit me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I want me wardrobe to reflect me, and be able to be dressed up or down depending on where we are going and what we are doing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We spend quite a lot of time at National Trust properties these days, and as autumn rolls in, I'm sure I'm going to need a fully casual section of my wardrobe, fleeces and walking boots and all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But, we live in a town, and we also spend a lot of our time in and around town, in shops; coffee shops and restaurants. So I imagine my smart casual wardrobe is one I'm going to be wearing regularly. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><u>Outfit 1, 2, 3 and 4:</u></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Quite possibly my favourite purchases this year are these <a href="http://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0554811002.html" target="_blank">jersey dresses from H&M</a>:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-9AIkWTDv8ThUrK3vNgeBiJwhPqa-Yyrt3dVg4CTwvYW_IdaeTD4cbSBUIo2RAbaSYUsx2qNGe84bLGGPPa2jH-AsBLcDO-nWO75ykyaXW2VElaNmEEROgPStni-fKwn2hGlP_Mjxcg/s1600/hm+dress+charcoal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="384" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-9AIkWTDv8ThUrK3vNgeBiJwhPqa-Yyrt3dVg4CTwvYW_IdaeTD4cbSBUIo2RAbaSYUsx2qNGe84bLGGPPa2jH-AsBLcDO-nWO75ykyaXW2VElaNmEEROgPStni-fKwn2hGlP_Mjxcg/s320/hm+dress+charcoal.jpg" width="213" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNop67Oj6y9vJX7YVtgE6wLIop5tvXBbeuVJBn6Ae2ACTQIDT2SI9oU9k_0tJcurIXGQf_iMFjv4FgzHO0jpWkasH_fDLqqbIDy5jtX16dREOTzpP04iOQUPQn9zL08SARfYHXQqP7w44/s1600/hm+dress+blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="384" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNop67Oj6y9vJX7YVtgE6wLIop5tvXBbeuVJBn6Ae2ACTQIDT2SI9oU9k_0tJcurIXGQf_iMFjv4FgzHO0jpWkasH_fDLqqbIDy5jtX16dREOTzpP04iOQUPQn9zL08SARfYHXQqP7w44/s320/hm+dress+blue.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD83tQkyyYjuTY2kmsQh4jg8dU8faE9VWmWCjDA3sfdS8ZkruRv8SiBGvfG3FYrbu1RqwBYX-LJ58mArc0Z4-Q90DOUdfAzXq0eq17b4l1i_vXuPMeE7jwJvayaCtDijz9JcJXYRzM1f4/s1600/hm+dress+khaki.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="384" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD83tQkyyYjuTY2kmsQh4jg8dU8faE9VWmWCjDA3sfdS8ZkruRv8SiBGvfG3FYrbu1RqwBYX-LJ58mArc0Z4-Q90DOUdfAzXq0eq17b4l1i_vXuPMeE7jwJvayaCtDijz9JcJXYRzM1f4/s320/hm+dress+khaki.jpg" width="213" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg29oOjRbKXgBR_lDQ2i3d5dq2LU2o6h6pTJDw9ZVUZRRjsRRW8ZfsHdYVoOo3_CSk5njG9aiMbrbrB57W2e5WxHKJi00w2Mu5rTsi1a08b_AbDZ-imuMB7rUli7eD6o8cNmL4PSRNJ3M0/s1600/hm+dress+pink.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="384" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg29oOjRbKXgBR_lDQ2i3d5dq2LU2o6h6pTJDw9ZVUZRRjsRRW8ZfsHdYVoOo3_CSk5njG9aiMbrbrB57W2e5WxHKJi00w2Mu5rTsi1a08b_AbDZ-imuMB7rUli7eD6o8cNmL4PSRNJ3M0/s320/hm+dress+pink.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">When I initially bought them, I was bemoaning the fact that they didn't come in brighter colours, particularly as they were intended for daytime wear on our holiday to Spain. I do love a bit of purple, blue and red, and would love these dresses in those colours (hint hint H&M!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But, as the weather is turning and the clouds are rolling in a little more often than I would like, I'm starting to see some real potential in these dresses, and ways to make them befit the colder seasons. Save for maybe the pink one, that one might have to be stored away at the back of my wardrobe until the warmer weather returns and hotter climates beckon. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">These dresses are lightweight, easy to wear and hide sticky fingermarks really well. It also comes in black, but I prefer the colours above. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Carrying kids and their endless supplies around means that I'm often hot, then cold, then hot again. So I'm finding that thick jumpers and warm coats often don't work as I'm too hot and then freezing when I take a layer off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I'm hoping that a bit of layering will mean that these dresses can be worn even in the depths of winter! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So, first things first, I'm going to need some long sleeved tops to go under the dresses. I want tops which I'm happy to wear on their own, either with jeans or a skirt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So far I'm looking at this <a href="http://www.thewhitecompany.com/Essential-Double-Layer-T-Shirt/p/EDCTS?swatch=Black&CM_MMC=Affiliates-_-Skimlinks-_-Spring2016-_-text&ProGrpCode=AR407&awc=4802_1504865749_acb33d823c902a67f02b12f0da84066a&utm_source=AWINUK&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Autumn2017&utm_term=78888&utm_content=other" target="_blank">double layer t-shirt in black</a> from The White Company. They also do this in Navy, which I think may well make the list too: </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwADM53I-lWn-nkXPlhrnr2eYz33w1rvQXEqRQ_pVx-PMm7bEkJLH2PtQwGrVG0bJxi78VwDXLsngZx0CfPfT0rMZ7mI-Hw6uwT_Qdv-1v-8G3ACchA_VYWUcD5q1MGzBgtudXvUArfAE/s1600/black+t-shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwADM53I-lWn-nkXPlhrnr2eYz33w1rvQXEqRQ_pVx-PMm7bEkJLH2PtQwGrVG0bJxi78VwDXLsngZx0CfPfT0rMZ7mI-Hw6uwT_Qdv-1v-8G3ACchA_VYWUcD5q1MGzBgtudXvUArfAE/s640/black+t-shirt.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I would love this top in the <a href="http://www.thewhitecompany.com/Essential-Double-Layer-T-Shirt-/p/EDCLT?swatch=Dark+Charcoal+Marl" target="_blank">dark grey</a> too, but it's only available in a size 8 now, and so likely to be sold out by the time I get around to buying it! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYd_xj9Psp2CdQ2vtCp7JgohSaT_FmT9dSkGtkm6pXBzKG7CRVSz5Mgrjc2BhFOInJzv_XMyTWLbAqW2naEXPLrg3bghj6VAj6JehUGZzBrDmCC-4SqRFxEq6Cgpiymvuv7xecCIEYJh4/s1600/dark++grey+t-shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYd_xj9Psp2CdQ2vtCp7JgohSaT_FmT9dSkGtkm6pXBzKG7CRVSz5Mgrjc2BhFOInJzv_XMyTWLbAqW2naEXPLrg3bghj6VAj6JehUGZzBrDmCC-4SqRFxEq6Cgpiymvuv7xecCIEYJh4/s640/dark++grey+t-shirt.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">However, The White Company does have a <a href="http://www.thewhitecompany.com/Double-Layer-V-Neck-Top/p/WBCDV?swatch=Grey&CM_MMC=Affiliates-_-Skimlinks-_-Spring2016-_-text&ProGrpCode=AR407&awc=4802_1504865764_7f3993fe5311bce81e2a8d87f2f22e33&utm_source=AWINUK&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Autumn2017&utm_term=78888&utm_content=other" target="_blank">v-neck double layer t-shirt</a> in both a mid-grey and a navy blue, which looks so comfortable. At £55 it is a significant investment in what is a plain t-shirt, but I think it's something that I would like to try on. After all, better an expensive and well fitting t-shirt that is fit for purpose; than one which will languish at the back of the wardrobe for the next year. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It's also very pretty and something I would happily wear with jeans or a skirt for a relatively relaxed look. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EKBHeqtoAODH9_MsHLqcGrXqaJIsm3Zt1VvjOu6ufWOF1A1pqXn_Tfoc7lMul1KWmyMZeRrB5ftXwkFOTgDMRGP0-ypjbvyvJD5U0rbvSkOPKzDbWLb55LWQp55MPBc3UO2Wyuzb7Rk/s1600/grey+v-nec+top.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EKBHeqtoAODH9_MsHLqcGrXqaJIsm3Zt1VvjOu6ufWOF1A1pqXn_Tfoc7lMul1KWmyMZeRrB5ftXwkFOTgDMRGP0-ypjbvyvJD5U0rbvSkOPKzDbWLb55LWQp55MPBc3UO2Wyuzb7Rk/s640/grey+v-nec+top.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Black tights are my winter staple with and dress and I think I'll be repurposing the 80 denier <a href="https://www.heist-studios.com/en/products/the-eighty/" target="_blank">black tights from Heist Studios</a> from my work wardrobe (if they are as good as they claim!). </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwo8WW8OfSPJ7hXRDkVi-W__hzTF7qKlG-WmCX5u_oxvJeR7Rxic1psku0_WY5KdKf1A_jzgYzPq7sTRjRJvNtKcXTxUtDOWZBhfX73PAk3TqoeMaQgVuSXgm9MFhzL6bo0U3zpxIZKME/s1600/black+tights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="859" data-original-width="1600" height="344" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwo8WW8OfSPJ7hXRDkVi-W__hzTF7qKlG-WmCX5u_oxvJeR7Rxic1psku0_WY5KdKf1A_jzgYzPq7sTRjRJvNtKcXTxUtDOWZBhfX73PAk3TqoeMaQgVuSXgm9MFhzL6bo0U3zpxIZKME/s640/black+tights.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Boots. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I already own a pair of black suede ankle boots from Jones the Bootmakers. They are fab, and are fur lined, so they are lovely and cosy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">However, being out and about with kids usually means grass; and grass and mud and suede isn't really a great combo. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I really struggle with knee boots because I have wide calves, and regular knee boots just do not fit (and wellies, but that's a whole other post!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I'm undecided between these <a href="https://duoboots.com/collections/womens-boots/products/reflection-black-leather" target="_blank">black Reflection knee boots </a>from Duo Boots:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9jTysa9n_Tbw5afpUfRr_5ElT0NO8qC2vOnFK8RDke6ZG7AnZlMh76DDTj62LbyZotE-IaOLTJW15ciFP4lqUhDd1LrSy3GbHrb_wiHlb4OHXeFPbCjUcWwKo13Hr9_1LhNr4SWYd7Eo/s1600/duo+boots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="359" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9jTysa9n_Tbw5afpUfRr_5ElT0NO8qC2vOnFK8RDke6ZG7AnZlMh76DDTj62LbyZotE-IaOLTJW15ciFP4lqUhDd1LrSy3GbHrb_wiHlb4OHXeFPbCjUcWwKo13Hr9_1LhNr4SWYd7Eo/s640/duo+boots.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Or these <a href="http://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/heavenly-soles-leather-high-leg-boots-standard-d-fit-standard-calf/fl850/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=6022&dclid=CPmK5ZOxldYCFVYUGwodHDYL3Q#colour:,size:" target="_blank">Heavenly Soles knee high black boots</a> from Simply Be:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05YQFvjB6_2PE0F9uV4tno2Pi7aE3Y932HY-hcBphSa83k6wwme-waNKx-H-g6NqCERWsbFK306kFRR9mqwZ_0XpWaClVU-r6Gj7HdBlFjlVQBtkknw3_fVo4IXnNetDsteMiv12bxnw/s1600/simply+be+black+boots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="520" data-original-width="414" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05YQFvjB6_2PE0F9uV4tno2Pi7aE3Y932HY-hcBphSa83k6wwme-waNKx-H-g6NqCERWsbFK306kFRR9mqwZ_0XpWaClVU-r6Gj7HdBlFjlVQBtkknw3_fVo4IXnNetDsteMiv12bxnw/s320/simply+be+black+boots.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Both companies allow you to measure your calves and select the appropriate width fitting; the main difference here is the price. I'm torn between choosing for these boots to be an investment piece, or whether to try to be sensible and just buy the Simply Be boots for the moment, as I have quite a bit of finishing up of my wardrobe to do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The heels on both of those pairs of boots are low enough for me to handle three children and a pram, but big enough for me to feel a bit more put together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm also seriously coveting several pairs of Duo Boots in tan leather, but I think I'll get more wear out of the black ones, so I'm shoving the tan ones to the back of my mind for now! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Next up, the leather jacket. I am in serious need of a leather jacket. I wore my old one literally until it fell apart. Then we moved to the Middle East and the need for a leather jacket vanished into thin air. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Again, there is a whole range of leather jackets out there and it's so easy to spend a LOT of money on one. The reality for me is that I need a leather jacket now, and I just cannot justify sinking hundreds upon hundreds of pounds into one at this moment in time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I think I'm going for this <a href="https://www.superdry.com/womens/leather-jackets/details/71051/bella-leather-biker-jacket-black?source=4412&awc=4412_1504866911_d014cc707de606317de6947e28ae1051&utm_source=Skimlinks&utm_medium=affiliate&network=AWIN&affiliate_id=78888&publisher=4412" target="_blank">Bella Leather Biker Jacket</a> from Superdry: </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPckTJ6nNxyS6vGQtW6CEs49-moy35E1lglwEDkUCjGkcm90fegXldLSc25AGafWvEdGkHUNH4C0sz07J2YfrKALxYMtl5OCoLhfaYHCPralmcQZ4pYwiFFlJLmoR_cs-aER6Ud6y-M8c/s1600/leather+jacket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="543" data-original-width="445" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPckTJ6nNxyS6vGQtW6CEs49-moy35E1lglwEDkUCjGkcm90fegXldLSc25AGafWvEdGkHUNH4C0sz07J2YfrKALxYMtl5OCoLhfaYHCPralmcQZ4pYwiFFlJLmoR_cs-aER6Ud6y-M8c/s640/leather+jacket.jpg" width="522" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Over the summer, I've been wearing these dresses with my pale blue Converse trainers. I can't find the exact pair, which have pink piping, but they are similar to <a href="http://www.converse.com/uk/en/regular/chuck-taylor-all-star-dainty-canvas/557967C.html" target="_blank">these</a>:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcxgGL5FC_3HfVr2RqZdMVFyvfrB-3Wb1n7oDXvpZPDavIcxjkIyh-GbQZJ6UjOsRYDgCwdsNEs15LyAE6A9fxfeZ-nWXJYwuOLNQ0dcaq7LZ2QDCSGt7GNvLVve98mZgYkt5GjcSk39s/s1600/converse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcxgGL5FC_3HfVr2RqZdMVFyvfrB-3Wb1n7oDXvpZPDavIcxjkIyh-GbQZJ6UjOsRYDgCwdsNEs15LyAE6A9fxfeZ-nWXJYwuOLNQ0dcaq7LZ2QDCSGt7GNvLVve98mZgYkt5GjcSk39s/s640/converse.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">As we may still get some sunny days, even as we head into autumn, I've added this <a href="http://www.gap.co.uk/browse/product.do?cid=68138&vid=1&pid=000528553000&tid=guaf7292167&ap=2&sem=true" target="_blank">denim jacket from Gap </a>to my shopping list. I think it will be great for slightly warmer days, when you don't need the additional warmth of the leather jacket. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQg85M1DiAkZjqLANBvayIVf9meORo4n8WRC0CwRAxVMbSw59_3i0mWN3xN3WEYteGhu4wzSXeth4h7rxN2Soh_pw7gZ5I9ZWGTaUY5xt_HFMpVMr0rXzLUG9xC6UGqkX2ZUSW6tQCdBU/s1600/denim+jacket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="693" data-original-width="520" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQg85M1DiAkZjqLANBvayIVf9meORo4n8WRC0CwRAxVMbSw59_3i0mWN3xN3WEYteGhu4wzSXeth4h7rxN2Soh_pw7gZ5I9ZWGTaUY5xt_HFMpVMr0rXzLUG9xC6UGqkX2ZUSW6tQCdBU/s640/denim+jacket.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><u>Outfit 5:</u></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I now own several pairs of these <a href="http://www.gap.co.uk/browse/product.do?cid=57390&vid=1&pid=000635963000" target="_blank">Gap Boot-Cut jeans</a>. Unfortunately I promptly dropped 3kgs in weight a few weeks after buying them (which I had been trying to do unsuccessfully for some time!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Luckily I bought them in the sale for £15 each, so I don't feel as bad as I would have done if I had bought them at full price. I'm hoping they drop the price again in the next sale so I can downsize. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">They are really comfortable and don't stretch that much, so they hold their shape really well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm definitely a boot-cut girl, I've been embracing the skinny jean phase, but I really just don't think it suits me. The boot-cut definitely balances out my curvy hips! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjenWtYOMRz0NkockolsLaxHZuvUnfAbjoh5WuXQz515kHjBSVujehan1P2OtFmfA-w5BZTK12WV3fVBZ-pjcygUg_-WvL5zCYRr8mr2XH7h-n8DyGujubvgjaJ_toZx-8AWpBzR0ZgWco/s1600/gap+jeans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="693" data-original-width="520" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjenWtYOMRz0NkockolsLaxHZuvUnfAbjoh5WuXQz515kHjBSVujehan1P2OtFmfA-w5BZTK12WV3fVBZ-pjcygUg_-WvL5zCYRr8mr2XH7h-n8DyGujubvgjaJ_toZx-8AWpBzR0ZgWco/s640/gap+jeans.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've picked up two t-shirts from Joules, which I really like, but I'm not convinced they like me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I really struggle with Joules, I love their clothes on other people but I don't feel like the cut of their clothes really suit me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So while I'm continuing to keep and wear them for now, I'm on the look out for something to replace them, or to relegate them to the casual look!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiADgnfPOObFdPKLtbj4Joaf4KtIRbgldNOVDU56t7osg_2nV1lf4GZO1xRF1xkjAd0BnQi9_X9gXHp1Lxj0agfKId-uG9Lv8BFABRKScvjnhlD8eW2apkh9C4fEsvBouE6otdN6bAhm6Q/s1600/joules+top+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="565" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiADgnfPOObFdPKLtbj4Joaf4KtIRbgldNOVDU56t7osg_2nV1lf4GZO1xRF1xkjAd0BnQi9_X9gXHp1Lxj0agfKId-uG9Lv8BFABRKScvjnhlD8eW2apkh9C4fEsvBouE6otdN6bAhm6Q/s320/joules+top+1.jpg" width="252" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgovQ5n0Wqw-Vxmlq67pym8HGNXuB9sseyHy0xldZEP8doWCN0UpUBpj638om_FKoYKRHrKnTDMWHC5aJelIKgvakSwirqmfswwAlusyoNffh1ZlRDUWuQ6_CxwXC4vtRUWJj5E4JmB98o/s1600/joules+top+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="182" data-original-width="143" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgovQ5n0Wqw-Vxmlq67pym8HGNXuB9sseyHy0xldZEP8doWCN0UpUBpj638om_FKoYKRHrKnTDMWHC5aJelIKgvakSwirqmfswwAlusyoNffh1ZlRDUWuQ6_CxwXC4vtRUWJj5E4JmB98o/s320/joules+top+2.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm completely in love with this <a href="http://www.karenmillen.com/gb/womens/clothing/tops/pussy-bow-frill-shirt/017505.html?dwvar_017505_color=10&position=48&cgid=tops#page=4&start=48&categoryID=tops&utm_source=Skimlinks.com&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=http%3A%2F%2Fwishmindr.com%2Flist%2F1je&ranMID=24797&ranEAID=TnL5HPStwNw&ranSiteID=TnL5HPStwNw-Xx5YLxDHABd7_6blt8bGZg&siteID=TnL5HPStwNw-Xx5YLxDHABd7_6blt8bGZg" target="_blank">top from Karen Millen</a>! They have it in three colours, but I'm hankering after the blue and the black. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I think it will be a great pairing with blue jeans for a smart casual look, probably along with the leather jacket and my ankle/knee boots!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipn2Xw6ApA4fQYTc1jPNoUh_XTnBPqkGv90NQTOOFH6eYIjDAa02-7ekox2bs9TFqCSIFm3Yx-7TeZAIt4ERHQLcRT8ksGGwAba6SF6hBfzJOBnLMI0up6T96XVtlSpiExQ_ZmAn2toy4/s1600/frill+bow+top+-0+blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1000" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipn2Xw6ApA4fQYTc1jPNoUh_XTnBPqkGv90NQTOOFH6eYIjDAa02-7ekox2bs9TFqCSIFm3Yx-7TeZAIt4ERHQLcRT8ksGGwAba6SF6hBfzJOBnLMI0up6T96XVtlSpiExQ_ZmAn2toy4/s400/frill+bow+top+-0+blue.jpg" width="250" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR_cdHfCep73aRcnK060dzflk-a7k1mvVrjn2W5oODpV26waYjCpftjL7MV9G6v3zsVRU3Hf5kCdhOSuxBu9qopS8SxK5YH5UekzrSSn86gXpvE8OAI8YctaojAxNZ_cK1hSp8umpNMBY/s1600/frill+bow+top+-0+black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1000" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR_cdHfCep73aRcnK060dzflk-a7k1mvVrjn2W5oODpV26waYjCpftjL7MV9G6v3zsVRU3Hf5kCdhOSuxBu9qopS8SxK5YH5UekzrSSn86gXpvE8OAI8YctaojAxNZ_cK1hSp8umpNMBY/s400/frill+bow+top+-0+black.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><u>Outfit 6:</u></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I also have this gorgeous dress from Oasis. I love love love it but I'm just not sure yet whether this is going to have to be relegated to a summer only dress or whether I can make it wearable throughout the winter months. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm undecided on whether I can pull this off with black tights and a leather jacket; if you have any ideas, please let me know!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXcY4ECClqNiMLXvPlJSoqW7gHxTp2pAQkXdG319NVwuqI8jcME8NFTIZ5KaKUTs8aoGssVVz318ED1Pfo8rMRBJhfZmFl9mKGLANuwYgongnhxYt1Qcvr-zc2aNafE01gAh0Ynlv9e6Y/s1600/summer+dress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1334" data-original-width="1600" height="536" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXcY4ECClqNiMLXvPlJSoqW7gHxTp2pAQkXdG319NVwuqI8jcME8NFTIZ5KaKUTs8aoGssVVz318ED1Pfo8rMRBJhfZmFl9mKGLANuwYgongnhxYt1Qcvr-zc2aNafE01gAh0Ynlv9e6Y/s640/summer+dress.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-3196468340600411662017-09-14T19:29:00.000+04:002017-09-14T19:29:15.977+04:00My Goal for 2017 - September Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9MMA_EVInfy8xGP25HMFtWkKPfcJ31nzlSTsZg60zzkW_m_7N3k1oyf9ZitW-GBg4NaPDXCsdGtQE54wmBh5uv-T1Rb0P6q9eiLAknfLd2dD4aizUwHvIWXZa6iSJavEOsQy2Vu5EV_Q/s1600/ian-robinson-181741.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1065" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9MMA_EVInfy8xGP25HMFtWkKPfcJ31nzlSTsZg60zzkW_m_7N3k1oyf9ZitW-GBg4NaPDXCsdGtQE54wmBh5uv-T1Rb0P6q9eiLAknfLd2dD4aizUwHvIWXZa6iSJavEOsQy2Vu5EV_Q/s640/ian-robinson-181741.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Goals are dreams with deadlines.” ― Diana Scharf</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm already one month in with my <a href="http://the21stcenturymama.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/my-goal-for-2017.html" target="_blank">Goal for 2017</a>, which was to improve my mental and physical health. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">To me, setting out on the journey is often the hardest, once you get going, the steps gradually seem easier to take. I've definitely felt that this month. There has been a lot of starting and stopping and starting and stopping again, but I feel like I've made a little bit of progress this month. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm not perfect, and I haven't gotten anywhere near my targets this month. Having this goal, and the habits I set within it, have meant that I have had a little reminder in the back of my head of what the habits are (and how I'm currently breaking them!). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I decided on two separate sets of habits I wanted to form, <a href="http://the21stcenturymama.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/from-goal-to-habits-my-mental-health.html" target="_blank">habits to improve my mental health</a>, and <a href="http://the21stcenturymama.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/from-goal-to-habits-my-physical-health.html" target="_blank">habits to improve my physical health</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Here's how I have gotten on this month: </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Mental Health: </u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>To be in bed by 8pm on two nights per week (aiming for Sunday and one other night);</u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This was going pretty well, until I had my op on my toes and had to stop going to Crossfit. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It seems the Crossfit has quite an impact on my ability to get to sleep. Without physical exercise, I'm finding that while my brain is exhausted, my body is struggling to wind down that early. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I've been going to bed a little later, about 9pm, and even then sleep has been a bit elusive. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hopefully next month will be more successful once I'm back at Crossfit. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">To wash and blow-dry my hair once per week (Friday?)</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This one has been pretty successful. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It wasn't initially, but I took the time to blow dry my hair before we went to a party at the end of August, and the feeling of having a hair style, rather than a mop of wavy ish hair was pretty great. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'd forgotten how polished I felt once my hair was dried properly! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So I've made more of an effort to do it since then and so far I'm managing to stick to the once per week I set myself. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Epsom Salt Baths twice a week</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is another habit which has fallen by the wayside due to my recovering feet! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can't get my feet wet, and it's not really easy to relax in the bath when your feet are sticking out of the end! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I need to pick this up again once my toes are healed. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Guided Meditation three times per week</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This one was going really well. I was using guided meditation every night, to help me wind down for sleep, and then I was still meeting to goal of three additional times per week. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then my iPhone decided to stop working. I have a replacement but I haven't gotten round to installing my guided meditation app yet! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Writing this post has prompted me to add it back onto my iPhone, and so hopefully I can pick up where I left off. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Guided meditation has been having a real effect on my mood. When I take the time to do a relaxation meditation, I really do feel my mood lift. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is a habit which has been much more beneficial than I thought it would be. </span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">To use my iPhone for only an hour a day, and to put it away for the night at 8pm</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another abject fail. Such a huge fail that I had, in fact, forgotten that it was one of my habits. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've been a total phone junkie this month, and have definitely not been putting it away at 8pm. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Must try harder. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Take an evening walk with the kids whenever things are stressful</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I haven't done this very much, if truth be told. Although, bedtimes recently haven't really been that stressful. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Gary has been able to get home at an earlier time during the summer and so we've been able to tag team bedtimes. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">However, I have discovered that popping the kids in the bath whenever early evenings become a little stressful, has had a similar effect to the evening walk. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">If the weather is good, getting the picnic blanket out and sitting outside also seems to have a similar calming effect on us all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We've been having quite a few baths, because the kids seem to respond to just being in a different space for half an hour or so. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This will be a big saviour now winter is coming and it's not going to be possible to always go for a walk whenever things are getting a little bit stressful. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Gratitude Diary</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My intention was to write in my gratitude diary 3-4 times a week. I have not met this goal. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I did initially, but sometimes I'm just too mentally tired by the end of the day, and I just want to curl up in bed and turn the lights out. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Although as I've not been sleeping well, I really should do this more often, as I'm awake anyway! </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Use the computer once per week</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another massive fail. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I must use the computer several times a day. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have had a lot going on which requires the computer, and has required it during the day when the kids are around. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm hoping that once our home improvements have been completed, and now that our re-mortgage has gone through, I can begin to step away from the screen. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Keep every other weekend free for our family</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Looking at our calendar for the next few months, it seems that we do have this in check. Save for November when I've had to rearrange a few things, which has meant three weekends back to back where we have visitors. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are parties for the kids creeping in there, but at least we will all be at home, and we can catch up a little bit on things in the house and homework. Plus hopefully we'll have time for some fun too! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Physical Health:</u></b></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Reduce Alcohol to 1 Day per Week:</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">August is a particularly hard month to be reducing my alcohol intake! It's my birthday, our wedding anniversary, Miss S's birthday and two of my closest friends have August birthdays too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That is a lot of celebrating to put into one month!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We also had a house warming party over the bank holiday weekend, which threw further spanners in the works. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So while I have struggled to keep to only drinking alcohol one day per week, I have noticed that I'm more mindful about when I drink. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have considered having a glass of wine midweek, and then decided against it because we had friends coming to visit or we were due to go out and celebrate one of the many occasions above. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm finding it's the Friday night glass or two of wine that is the hardest to break. It's the end of the week and it's lovely for Gary and I to sit down and feel like we get some quality time together, knowing that tomorrow is not a work or school day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There have been the occasional "sod it" moments during the week when I have succumbed to a glass of wine, but I feel like I'm getting a little bit better at managing that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Once or twice I even managed to bargain with myself that if I was going to have wine, I need to go to Crossfit first, and actually went! That feels like a little bit of progress to me!</span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">5 Portions of Fruit and Vegetables a Day:</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This habit I have had much more success with. I've been making sure I have at least one portion of vegetables with breakfast, and that seems to make bringing my tally up to five portions a day much easier. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have also bulked out the amount of veg I'm eating with my evening meal, making it at least two portions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm still not great with fruit, although I have picked up a pear once or twice when I've been nosing in the fridge! </span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">No sugar until midday:</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This has been a moderately successful month for this habit. Save for when I'm nursing a hangover, I'm much less likely to reach for the chocolate stash until I've had lunch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It also helps that I've been keeping only 70% dark chocolate in the house, which seems to be less of a temptation than Cadburys buttons. </span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Avoid Gluten:</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This has been an out and out fail. I think because I'm giving up sweet stuff during the morning, by lunch time I'm desperate for some carbs. The sugar craving appears to include pasta and bread and I'm not doing very well at choosing something without gluten in. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm ok at home if I am prepared and cook jacket potatoes in advance and leave them in the fridge, but if not, then a sandwich or some fresh pasta is just a quick and easy option. I need to make sure I'm planning in advance next month. </span></div>
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<u style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Go to Crossfit 3x per Week (and no more):</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This was going well, until I had a minor surgical procedure on my toes for ingrowing toenails at the end of August. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm currently completely out of action, and likely to be for 3-4 weeks. Hopefully when I get back on track, this habit will be relatively easy to complete. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So while it's not been the perfect start, I feel as though some of the habits have begun to stick, and I'm hoping that as they become more like second nature, the harder habits can take centre stage for me to work on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Hopefully it won't all fall apart by the time my October update rolls round! </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-10742592492377479852017-09-07T19:42:00.000+04:002017-09-07T19:42:02.302+04:00A Wardrobe Overhaul - Work attire<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnPRNLGblT7FvAQVC8xKlmtepf1zKAx55S-pg9nUhSSwd53JJ316OpIGQkEDCyl3fOG6HJZvdUX6XX1itOAjGyUP7PJeuNfAoQz0I5pll5E2hZs4BviUNTzwAgHjmMK8JIM60OBFgFG4s/s1600/francis-duval-37755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnPRNLGblT7FvAQVC8xKlmtepf1zKAx55S-pg9nUhSSwd53JJ316OpIGQkEDCyl3fOG6HJZvdUX6XX1itOAjGyUP7PJeuNfAoQz0I5pll5E2hZs4BviUNTzwAgHjmMK8JIM60OBFgFG4s/s640/francis-duval-37755.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>You can never be overdressed or overeducated.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Oscar Wilde</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So, having talked about <a href="http://the21stcenturymama.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/searching-for-my-style-mojo.html" target="_blank">the quest to find my style mojo</a>, I've been spending quite a bit of time thinking about my wardrobe and what I want it to look like going forwards. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've been through my wardrobe and pulled out those things that I no longer like. It's still left me with quite a big wardrobe, no capsule wardrobe for me! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">However, I have noticed that I don't seem to have versatile outfits. I have half outfits, or pieces that are good for one season but can't be transferred to another season with ease. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I've decided to work on adding on those things to my wardrobe which I think will enhance what is already in it, and not adding in more than one or two new outfits. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have also realised that I have different wardrobes for different occasions, namely: </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Work;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Going out;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Casual with the kids;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Smart casual with the kids;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Smart casual WITHOUT the kids. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to work through what I have in my (recently reduced) wardrobe, and those items I am thinking about adding to my wardrobe to make the pieces I have work a little better. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><u><b>Work Wardrobe:</b></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">While I'm not actually going back to work until the end of March 2018, I still want to plan out what I have and what I need. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm going back to work three days a week, which actually means I have the bulk of my work wardrobe already (yay). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><u>Outfit 1:</u></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have this Karen Millen cream checked dress, which I still love:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; text-align: left;">I usually wear this dress with this <a href="http://www.marksandspencer.com/ribbed-round-neck-cardigan/p/p22514924?prevPage=plp" target="_blank">black M&S cardigan</a>. I have this cardigan in several colours because it wears and washes well, although I'm feeling a bit carbon copy in them all the time!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHUn-hPwKua0mX5DiMhsaMZC5-Wp9K13L7ERCENeNJRVoOvKdxLby15QvOkCtTR_zqfV4DEfJKF810vA-gkjctH5LbdZHQy5nzkvZdHqBCjyFRsgi_Z94SjA_u-2Mn1OU8ppYXgUAx1fo/s1600/black+cardigan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="370" data-original-width="285" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHUn-hPwKua0mX5DiMhsaMZC5-Wp9K13L7ERCENeNJRVoOvKdxLby15QvOkCtTR_zqfV4DEfJKF810vA-gkjctH5LbdZHQy5nzkvZdHqBCjyFRsgi_Z94SjA_u-2Mn1OU8ppYXgUAx1fo/s640/black+cardigan.jpg" width="491" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">In terms of finishing off this outfit, I sometimes feel that this dress is a little low cut, particularly for client meetings. I would also like to dress it up a little, rather than the perpetual black cardigan. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So to finish off this outfit, and make it versatile for more formal meetings, I'm adding the following to my wish list:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This <a href="http://www.thewhitecompany.com/Essential-Lace-Trim-Cami/p/ELCTR?swatch=Black&CM_MMC=Affiliates-_-Skimlinks-_-Spring2016-_-text&ProGrpCode=AR407&awc=4802_1504776914_05617af31626c4716a89b1ac5622f65f&utm_source=AWINUK&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Autumn2017&utm_term=78888&utm_content=other" target="_blank">lace cami top</a> from The White Company. To make the dress a little less revealing! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">A black blazer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm really struggling to find a blazer I like with a reasonable price point at the moment. I like my blazer's fitted and at the moment boxy, looser styles are everywhere, and I have really struggled to find something I really like. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Thankfully Zara have come to the rescue with their <a href="https://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/blazers/basic-blazer-c756615p4781560.html" target="_blank">basic black blazer</a>! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_rjA3h4lj2Dj5t56iJNuPB0BLEoOlU63lvaAyD7HPwaEzwvrRvf3KUutYcGahPIUL0zTXvurDzDQ5PKBPDsCn8SpI7VyeGA86M7JXMS2uWZbd0dyTK_54_JFWEC1Gxtepa9zJmMm1EMM/s1600/black+blazer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1292" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_rjA3h4lj2Dj5t56iJNuPB0BLEoOlU63lvaAyD7HPwaEzwvrRvf3KUutYcGahPIUL0zTXvurDzDQ5PKBPDsCn8SpI7VyeGA86M7JXMS2uWZbd0dyTK_54_JFWEC1Gxtepa9zJmMm1EMM/s640/black+blazer.jpg" width="520" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Black shoes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've ruined my last pair of black work shoes, so they are probably going to need to be replaced before I go back to work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I do have a pair of nude court shoes which could probably work with this dress, but I think the black ones will look better. So I'm coveting these <a href="http://www.karenmillen.com/gb/womens/footwear/shoes/patent-court/017400.html?dwvar_017400_color=01&position=23&cgid=shoes#page=2&start=23&categoryID=shoes" target="_blank">Karen Millen patent court shoes</a>. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBDHVGlx6vQLVjTK5LIeJ_GblCjWTW0u1fDeRDxw655zIuhieFq8ZAr83giJOIhWUjjTEGyD78jC2QG2jmtoRlDVUkkXWx01zszlDTqXPw0ggR0cBtE5sIYUSFNqBG3lyXGgIpkGzynHE/s1600/black+court+shoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="999" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBDHVGlx6vQLVjTK5LIeJ_GblCjWTW0u1fDeRDxw655zIuhieFq8ZAr83giJOIhWUjjTEGyD78jC2QG2jmtoRlDVUkkXWx01zszlDTqXPw0ggR0cBtE5sIYUSFNqBG3lyXGgIpkGzynHE/s640/black+court+shoes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Tights. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have a love/hate relationship with tights. I love them, but they are so uncomfortable. I'm constantly faffing about with them because they just don't stay where they are supposed to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Although clearly Facebook has some psychic ability to discern my discomfort with my current tights, as it keeps throwing up an advert for tights from Heist Studios. Said advert states no digging, no rolling and no sagging will occur when wearing their magic tights. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Ever a sucker for marketing promises, I think I'm going to test out their tights in both <a href="https://www.heist-studios.com/en/products/the-nude" target="_blank">nude</a> and the <a href="https://www.heist-studios.com/en/products/the-eighty" target="_blank">80 denier black.</a> Obviously I'll report back once they have been throughly tested! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNiykrAuoEddHsPeQrjj9zfXIMks1EUmFwrkHCNysVLeOytZKF2crrz8ZdOnXSxrIxVzpycXKp4BAwAdKrNSqR2mJu-wT09sOX9Fq0xaXjfpMlwGKYMQP4YdTVP9WSIn93xcRD6Ts3a8U/s1600/black+tights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="859" data-original-width="1600" height="344" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNiykrAuoEddHsPeQrjj9zfXIMks1EUmFwrkHCNysVLeOytZKF2crrz8ZdOnXSxrIxVzpycXKp4BAwAdKrNSqR2mJu-wT09sOX9Fq0xaXjfpMlwGKYMQP4YdTVP9WSIn93xcRD6Ts3a8U/s640/black+tights.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><u>Outfit 2:</u></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I only actually own one formal suit. I'm not sure if this is the exact suit, but it's as close as I can find. My navy blue suit is from Reiss. I love their tailoring, and when I was shopping for a suit, I literally went to every store in Birmingham before finding this little piece of magic in Reiss. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I actually own two skirts, so I can send one to the dry cleaners and still have a full suit. I'm much less likely to spill something on my jacket, but you can guarantee that I'll need to send my skirt to the dry cleaners the day before a court appearance or a very formal client meeting. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3d6t59_a1lO4FIFEW_zhQfUGeldG_GzOup2ypw_27YJaxiONuWeN-jpVzTrnT8E14QvDsESzGdvML5pDRK3n1_JLUXcG_AkEkJb1nI8JnL_MdY3KeRZYBcrH72H-Sfd1dK3lSYyGIKNc/s1600/reiss+suit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1396" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3d6t59_a1lO4FIFEW_zhQfUGeldG_GzOup2ypw_27YJaxiONuWeN-jpVzTrnT8E14QvDsESzGdvML5pDRK3n1_JLUXcG_AkEkJb1nI8JnL_MdY3KeRZYBcrH72H-Sfd1dK3lSYyGIKNc/s640/reiss+suit.jpg" width="560" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Currently I wear this Reiss button-back top in cream with my suit. I love this top, but had to size it down a little to give it the slightly more fitted look. I also own this top in navy blue and wear it a lot with jeans! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Reiss also did this in red originally, but they had sold out by the time I was ready to buy it (and it has not yet appeared in their outlet, much to my disappointment). </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAnTHAKZpE9oGok2RGndCRoVNhNwdDppoMEuueuN0KKvyLjm3s8rXRICztsdijSXNWPhZd4OZXgQX4cetzUuTrz-Vjy7q0-sXrjQw26E2yYKx-P5U7o9mH9Fwmlu5tnGI5aBBQbxLILWU/s1600/reiss+top+white.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAnTHAKZpE9oGok2RGndCRoVNhNwdDppoMEuueuN0KKvyLjm3s8rXRICztsdijSXNWPhZd4OZXgQX4cetzUuTrz-Vjy7q0-sXrjQw26E2yYKx-P5U7o9mH9Fwmlu5tnGI5aBBQbxLILWU/s320/reiss+top+white.jpg" width="256" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDG3lQvz84-q89uGZ_KYL3sPmn-XEhhQrSyFVbOBe6MF_uilPHzFTARaeLnRWFo53FhRxUnO7VzpV7n1gBn3EnTqMhxMoTC_wmZpgo04JRUHl7yJ_Q5ZS8iul-rDpXJn6JoCl8gCRm1VU/s1600/reiss+top+white+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="251" data-original-width="201" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDG3lQvz84-q89uGZ_KYL3sPmn-XEhhQrSyFVbOBe6MF_uilPHzFTARaeLnRWFo53FhRxUnO7VzpV7n1gBn3EnTqMhxMoTC_wmZpgo04JRUHl7yJ_Q5ZS8iul-rDpXJn6JoCl8gCRm1VU/s320/reiss+top+white+1.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Again, to give this outfit a more formal feel, I'm on the lookout for the perfect white shirt. I'm currently considering this F<a href="https://www.tmlewin.co.uk/womens/shirts/fitted-white-twill-shirt-57792.html?cgid=Womens-Shirts" target="_blank">itted Shirt </a>from TM Lewin, although I'm tempted by this <a href="https://www.tmlewin.co.uk/womens/shirts/fitted-white-pleat-front-shirt-57815.html?cgid=Womens-Shirts" target="_blank">Pleated Front Shirt</a>, also from TM Lewin. I can't decide if I'll regret it when the pleats need ironing for the 50th time. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRkJ60Yu8xIJSf2DUYRQC2mjbmyG35ADCQtAwkaE1u0S6dofsE8a5M-x2FVJMUcuIsawOQ4RLf-PqPmU_3VJCvK8ZIrfZAOgegsRiAN73lwd5fhtN05bc-AYi7TQh2ZArRKK2qVD_Ma-s/s1600/white+shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1296" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRkJ60Yu8xIJSf2DUYRQC2mjbmyG35ADCQtAwkaE1u0S6dofsE8a5M-x2FVJMUcuIsawOQ4RLf-PqPmU_3VJCvK8ZIrfZAOgegsRiAN73lwd5fhtN05bc-AYi7TQh2ZArRKK2qVD_Ma-s/s320/white+shirt.jpg" width="260" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0DtKjFFB2bET5pSY17cGb6IKKEP15D6t_jPlw5JJy2eN_z3debSjbjKLORHdMwTIuGUO_P0_9v4Ztu5TNsoP-Iaciutmy4Yt8PxKRuRVHr9gX-IxcnCTQ__rAY_x5BRg8JGAl3YLmkw/s1600/pleated+shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1296" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0DtKjFFB2bET5pSY17cGb6IKKEP15D6t_jPlw5JJy2eN_z3debSjbjKLORHdMwTIuGUO_P0_9v4Ztu5TNsoP-Iaciutmy4Yt8PxKRuRVHr9gX-IxcnCTQ__rAY_x5BRg8JGAl3YLmkw/s320/pleated+shirt.jpg" width="260" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The only other item on my wish list? These <a href="http://www.karenmillen.com/gb/womens/footwear/shoes/patent-court/016568.html?dwvar_016568_color=10&position=1&cgid=shoes#prefn1=refinementColor&prefv1=Blue&start=1&categoryID=shoes" target="_blank">Karen Millen Court Shoes in Navy Blue</a>. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRCHNszeBpnRutIlanOmCVbfWupOgCbA1PdfwngLGTsuUVKGI5RM9gh2CSCXIy0XHHe7USgBNB16Z_asZalK3g6BGaBHZd6l76eEwJRZPjyWmLNWCOutQAaFSDzVbp6UGTOx7ddEMCnu4/s1600/blue+shoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1000" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRCHNszeBpnRutIlanOmCVbfWupOgCbA1PdfwngLGTsuUVKGI5RM9gh2CSCXIy0XHHe7USgBNB16Z_asZalK3g6BGaBHZd6l76eEwJRZPjyWmLNWCOutQAaFSDzVbp6UGTOx7ddEMCnu4/s400/blue+shoes.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Now I know that these are quite a way down the priority list! I already have nude court shoes which are completely fine with this suit, but I must admit, they are the perfect navy, which I have been looking for, for what seems like forever! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Outfit 3:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I love this Karen Millen pencil dress. The black parts are matt but the champagne/oyster parts are a silky/satin material. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think, given the items in my wish list to finalise the cream dress, I don't actually need to add anything to my list to finish off this dress. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Outfit 4:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The same goes for this Karen Miller black checked pencil skirt (are you spotting a theme yet?). The white shirt and the black blazer listed above will happy finish off this outfit without me having to add more to the list. My bank balance will be very happy about that! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm a little unsettled with a coat choice at the moment. I have a smart trench coat for the summer, but I just don't feel smart in the parka I had last winter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am lusting after a smart wool coat, but it seems to be a little early in the season for winter coats to have hit the shops and I'm struggling to find anything I really like. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Also, given I'm going back to work at the end of March, I doubt I'll get much use out of a warm wool coat until next winter. So I might save my pennies and wait until the winter collections come out next year. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Shopping List:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">So that's seven items on the shopping list to complete my work wardrobe. While it is quite a lot, given I only work three days a week, its definitely something I can work towards. I'm excited to get back into my work wardrobe, having given it a new lease of life. </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-54773715760724351642017-08-30T12:59:00.000+04:002017-08-30T12:59:34.334+04:00Searching for my style mojo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5MK_AFneek57qy0G_lE-etUB2Idox1INDscrjx5RmV9b5S6V2hPK7gXxcTWKc9a7vy6_RWCTx25o1EW3TTSL1tcoFgx0zt5QKnSAhrCFUbcpuJCCYs1zvEJnrtq9jnfG2uXtjRI7hDIQ/s1600/heidi-sandstrom-259886.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5MK_AFneek57qy0G_lE-etUB2Idox1INDscrjx5RmV9b5S6V2hPK7gXxcTWKc9a7vy6_RWCTx25o1EW3TTSL1tcoFgx0zt5QKnSAhrCFUbcpuJCCYs1zvEJnrtq9jnfG2uXtjRI7hDIQ/s640/heidi-sandstrom-259886.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Style is very personal. It has nothing to do with fashion. Fashion is over very quickly. Style is forever.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Ralph Lauren</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know I've said it before on this blog, but becoming a mum has coincided with a complete loss of my style mojo. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Miss S has just turned five years old and I'm still somehow bumbling about in the dark with no real sense of my own style. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ok, so I've had two more children since then and my body has swelled and shrunk and swelled and (not so much) shrunk twice more. So I haven't spent the last five years sitting in a box and ignoring my style, it's just been massively in flux. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I just can't feel my way through clothes like I used to. I can't see something and think "yep, that's the top". It's like all my instincts have left me and I have no idea what on earth feels comfortable anymore. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I only know that I am not. Comfortable, that is. I've bought clothes from new shops, and while there is nothing wrong with them, and in fact I like other people in them, they just feel wrong on me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When I see photographs, I don't see me. I see me in someone else's clothes. I don't see the person I feel I am, because the clothes don't fit (literally and figuratively in some cases). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There are pieces of her still there, that girl with the instinctive feel for what she wanted to wear, who she wanted to present to the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I found a piece of her in Gap, when I discovered that they were still selling bootcut jeans (I bought five pairs!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I found another piece when I discovered I was coveting a new black leather jacket (which is still on my list, because it's expensive!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It doesn't help that the me has changed somewhat. I'm much more interested in being outdoors, because it engages us as a family, and connects me with the kids. So I now need walking boots and rainwear which I definitely have not needed before! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have to be comfortable and able to cart a baby on my hip and deal with chocolate covered fingers and snot. Those things don't really make shopping easy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Since I found the bootcut jeans, I've been re-assessing my wardrobe, considering exactly what makes me feel good, and what definitely does not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm trying to look at my wardrobe as a whole and seeing the gaps, the small things I need to add to the wardrobe which will tell the story of me. Which will present me to the world, rather than someone I don't really know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's a little like a breath of fresh air, to have that tiny piece of me, even if it's only five pairs of jeans bought in the sale (and taken in because I promptly dropped three kilos and ruined the look of those perfectly fitting jeans). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's given me hope that I can feel like me again. That style won't evade me forever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm hoping that now I'm done with the maternity clothing, I can finally find more pieces of me, hidden like jewels amongst the rails. </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-21143570398421493102017-08-26T00:48:00.002+04:002017-08-26T00:48:59.877+04:00Wanderlust<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDAXcjS34c-UexS7_cgt3f6xjr4cNnK44Y1x50yDkQuqd1u1CYFUTTCoYYue6bHTFlz02ifN2w3yLBVqUc18mKYMJv6QelklrloQnCLPscBzAwW3lQkO15Q51iYNsh1M7SijLRxcQ14u8/s1600/joshua-sortino-274493.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDAXcjS34c-UexS7_cgt3f6xjr4cNnK44Y1x50yDkQuqd1u1CYFUTTCoYYue6bHTFlz02ifN2w3yLBVqUc18mKYMJv6QelklrloQnCLPscBzAwW3lQkO15Q51iYNsh1M7SijLRxcQ14u8/s640/joshua-sortino-274493.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333;">I would never have described myself as a traveller. I'm not a nomad. I don't feel the call of the wild, or whatever you phrases you might use to describe someone who has the travelling bug. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333;">I was never drawn to the gap year, to travelling the world with a rucksack. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333;">I would usually describe myself as a city girl, someone who loves the convenience of life in the city, in walking to the nearest shop and being able to buy prosecco at 9pm at the end of my street. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333;">In terms of day to day living, living in a town has been by far the best decision. The </span></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">convenience of being able to walk the kids to school and nursery and then wander off to do the weekly shop has been incredible, and exactly what I love. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I wouldn't change where we live for the world, it suits us and our needs as a family perfectly. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But being a parent seems to have awoken something in me that I didn't even know I possessed. I can only describe it as wanderlust. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Maybe it was taking the leap and living in the Middle East for four years; maybe it is having three children and thinking about the things I remember from my childhood, the things that stay with me; maybe it is seeing the possibilities in my children, and wanting to expose them to opportunities to find out who they are and the right path for them; maybe it is because we are now settled, that I want to roam in our leisure time. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I see the world with fresh eyes now. I see opportunities which I have never seen before. I feel excitement about travel and trips and possibilities which I have never felt before. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I recently met up with a work colleague who spoke about travelling within the UK with such passion and love, that I began to rethink my perspective on holidaying in the UK. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There's no guaranteed sun, but then with three young children, the hot eternal sunshine can be a curse as well as a blessing (ask those still in Dubai this summer!). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My sunbathing days are long gone, and are not likely to resurface for many, many years! The lack of lazing opportunities have forced me to consider what else might be out there for us as a family. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In doing that, it has helped to show me that the person I thought I was, is not necessarily all that I can be. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I still love my luxury hotels and spa treatments, but it has reminded me of the girl who loved going to Brownie camp; who did her Duke of Edinburgh in the tail end of an American hurricane; who found solace in rock climbing and orienteering during her much dreaded P.E. lessons at school. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm not sure I'm ready for full scale camping (or even glamping... not just yet) but I'm definitely ready to embrace more of the outdoors that I have in the last decade or so. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Walking boots are firmly on my shopping list and I'm seriously excited by the endless possibilities offered by the UK and far beyond. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My head is full of the exciting prospects that corners of the UK offer me. The Cotswolds; Norfolk; the Lake District; the Peak District; Cornwall; Northumberland; Wales; the West of Scotland; Northern Ireland. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There is so much possibility. From exploring caves with stalagmites and stalactites to cable cars and boat trips out onto a loch. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For some reason all of this calls to my soul. It beckons in a way that is immeasurably powerful and all consuming. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And that's before I look beyond our own borders. Our children are still too young but I'm already longing after lapland; Iceland; Costa Rica; Peru; Cambodia; New Zealand; Canada; Alaska; Norway. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I want to give the kids experiences that stay in their souls. I want them to kayak, to ride horses, to be able to climb mountains. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Disney World has a magic all of its own, but the tension of a safari before sunrise, searching for the first glimpses of an elephant, that brand of magic is calling to me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm so excited of the prospect of discovering these things as a family. Of watching the wonder in my children's eyes as they see things they never dreamed of. Of exposure to natural wonders, a world outside of my iPhone (which I need to learn to leave at home!); a world that lives and breathes and dances to a different tune. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My bucket list is long, and growing longer everyday. Where is on your bucket list? </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-34020357896484008632017-08-18T14:32:00.000+04:002017-08-18T14:32:16.931+04:00From Goal to Habits: My Physical Health<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW45cgucgbnqGpMoK7Y9pNtBdfTEEZGFA97RPS8PRhQp_fLt7ZSW4S7dcV-uYXvt5mjaPy3zaUcjJFNn9GLTeCaO6xegjEA2C-ZNnYTYhn5yzZKPqybWU3qJHBdLkVsG2kvz3zzY8XT04/s1600/ashim-d-silva-162286.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW45cgucgbnqGpMoK7Y9pNtBdfTEEZGFA97RPS8PRhQp_fLt7ZSW4S7dcV-uYXvt5mjaPy3zaUcjJFNn9GLTeCaO6xegjEA2C-ZNnYTYhn5yzZKPqybWU3qJHBdLkVsG2kvz3zzY8XT04/s640/ashim-d-silva-162286.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>A well built physique reflects your hard work; money cannot buy it, nor can you inherit it; you cannot steal it, nor can you borrow it; you cannot hold onto it without constant work. It shows dedication; it shows discipline; it shows self-respect; it shows dignity. It shows patience, work ethic and passion. </i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Physical health can often seem obvious. Eat less crap, move more. But if it was that easy, we'd all be doing it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The reality is that we live in a convenient world. Almost everything can be packaged and bought; you can pay someone to do almost any chore or any task. We are also time poor, trying to fit everything into an already crammed schedule. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There simply isn't time for everything, and often exercise and a good diet fall by the wayside because of everything else that gets in the way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Eating is easy; not eating is not. Sitting on the sofa is easy; going to the gym is not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If given an option, I'd like to sit on the sofa and eat cake. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The problem? The problem is that I already know how good my body is designed to feel. Joining The Circuit Factory in Dubai gave me a body that was strong, and gave me a diet which was designed to fuel that body. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You can see how I was getting on at The Circuit Factory <a href="http://the21stcenturymama.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-circuit-factory-challenge-my-ass.html" target="_blank">here</a>. That progress completely ground to a halt when we moved back to the UK and then I got pregnant and completely piled on the pounds. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I want to feel that good again. I want to feel healthy, I want to feel the difference when I eat food that isn't great for me, I want to crave fruit and vegetables again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is about more than just dress sizes, I want to make the most of feeling good. I want to feel good so I can do more with my children, do more with my husband. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So here are the habits I would like to form to improve my physical health: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Reduce Alcohol to 1 Day per Week:</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My alcohol consumption crept up during our return to the UK due to the stress of constantly moving from temporary accommodation to temporary accommodation and not having the space to fit in exercise. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So while we have massively cut down the amount we were drinking, now that I'm not pregnant anymore, the alcohol has slowly crept back in again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It is so easy to have a glass of wine here, a gin and tonic there. But the reality is that I can feel the difference after even one glass of wine. It affects my sleep and I get REALLY grouchy when I don't sleep properly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to work on reducing this down to once a week. I'm going to have to re-learn that meeting up with friends doesn't have to mean opening a bottle of pro secco. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Reduce the Amount of Alcohol I am Consuming: </u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This feels like a really important aspect of the reduction in the alcohol I am drinking. There is no point having one day a week to drink and then binge drinking! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I am going to restrict the amount I drink to 1/2 a bottle of wine or two gin and tonic (or similar), once per week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This feels like a sensible amount, where I can be social, but not feel like crap the next day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>5 Portions of Fruit and Vegetables a Day:</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure a lot of you are saying "Well, DUH". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We all know that this is the recommendation (although I think it's been increased recently) made by a lot of people. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The short version, fruit and vegetables are good, eat lots of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't eat enough and I definitely don't think I hit 5 portions a day. I need to be more conscious of the food I am eating and work out how to sneak in those portions during the day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm pretty good in the sense that I'll eat almost any fruit and vegetables, so it's not that I'm being picky, I'm just not reaching for the fruit bowl at the moment, chocolate is a more convenient option most of the time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Mister L is amazing with fruit and will eat grapes like they are going out of fashion. Miss S isn't as good and has gone off a lot of fruit lately. I need to be setting an example for them, so that they reach for the fruit first and the chocolate second. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>No sugar until midday:</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I often reach for the chocolate immediately after breakfast. It's become a really bad habit and it's one I need to break. First of all we need to have less chocolate in the house, and then I need to really work hard on not going out to buy some, given we live really close to the shops! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Miss S looks to be following in my footsteps and becoming a sugar fiend. I have also been allowing treats far too often, so that it's becoming an almost daily habit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That is really not something I want to encourage long term, as it's going to develop into a life long habit for all of my kids, if I'm not careful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't drink any fizzy drinks like lemonade or cola. They can be in the house and I would never think to drink them. The reason that I don't drink them, we never had them in the house when we were growing up. My mum just didn't buy them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Even though I have the sweetest tooth on the planet, I never reach for a sugary drink. So I want there to always be good food at hand in our house, and less of the sugary stuff. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Hopefully that will encourage all of us to develop good, long term, eating habits. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Avoid Gluten:</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Gluten is something that I have never particularly gotten on well with. I find when I'm eating gluten it increases my cravings for sweets and carbs by 1000%. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It also causes an upset stomach and flares my eczema. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The problem is that gluten is so convenient. Toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch. These things are easy to pick up at any shop when you are in a rush and are easy to pack to take with you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So it's going to take more preparation and more foresight to help me bring along food that is gluten free. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Saying that, we have recently discovered the M&S balanced for you lunches which are often rice based rather than pasta based, which has been a lifesaver for picnics. They are totally delicious too! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Go to Crossfit 3x per Week (and no more):</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I joined Crossfit Leamington about 12 weeks ago, and it has been exactly what I was looking for. The workouts are HARD and the team spirit is infectious. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm not very self-motivated and I really need a lot of encouragement and support to take up, and continue with an exercise programme. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Crossfit has given me that support and even though my diet is pretty appalling, my body is already changing shape. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">However, I began to get a little obsessed and tried to get to Crossfit 4-5 times a week. That is simply too much for me to factor into our lives at the moment, and it was causing unnecessary stress because it left so little time for all the other things that need to be taken care of. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to do three sessions per week, and no more. That should enable me to increase my fitness while having enough time to keep the entire family on a even keel. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So those are my physical fitness goals. It's really interesting how they are almost all food based goals. It's easy to see from here where my weaknesses are! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm going to try to update on my progress monthly, to see how I am getting on, and to reinforce my goals in my own mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">See you in September for the first monthly review! </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-60397038748895472472017-08-15T00:10:00.000+04:002017-08-15T00:10:18.081+04:00From Goal to Habits: My Mental Health<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Have courage and be kind</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Cinderella</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm starting with my mental health on purpose. I feel like, having struggled a little over the past few years, that your mental health is the key to overall well-being. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Your mindset can completely alter the way you face the day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When I returned to work (after a four year break) I had a complete confidence crisis. A few things didn't go well, and my confidence crashed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The funny thing about confidence is that once you lose it, everything seems to go wrong. You have to re-discover that confidence in order to re-set the balance and make positive changes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The things that happen to you; the words spoken to you; even the music you listened to during the day can have a drastic effect on your mood, and the way you respond to the world around you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This has been the hardest section to break down into habits, because those habits are going to be the hardest to form and maintain. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've decided to be a little tough on myself though, and demand more than I think I'm capable of. Improving my health will mean being less lazy, not falling back on crutches, and being disciplined in an already full life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So, here are the habits I want to set for myself over the next few months:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><u>To be in bed by 8pm on two nights per week (aiming for Sunday and one other night;</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm really bad at just faffing about on the computer, or watching some mindless drivel on TV and not actually getting off my backside and trudging up the stairs for bed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Mostly this is because I'm tired and cannot be bothered to move. So, going to bed early ought to help me not feel quite so tired, and hopefully mean I spend less time faffing about when I could be doing things which make a difference to my health. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>To wash and blow-dry my hair once per week (Friday?)</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm putting suggested days in here, because I know if it's not sent into a calendar type arrangement, things will just slide! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Recently I've been really busy, and after I've been to CrossFit, I've just been washing my hair and leaving it to dry by itself... causing a wavy/frizzy do which doesn't really suit my layered hairstyle. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So, firstly I'm growing out my layers, so that on the days when my hair can't be blow-dried, it doesn't look quite so odd (and I can get away with not having my hair cut for four months at a time!). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Secondly, I feel so much more me when me hair is blow dried. I have a lot of very thick hair, so it takes me a fair amount of time, but it really does make me feel much more pulled together. So I'm going to make the effort to look after my hair a little more often. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Epsom Salt Baths twice a week</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I LOVE a good bubble bath.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">These days I much prefer baths over showers, as they feel a little more relaxing, even if I'm only actually in the bath for 7 minutes (I timed it this morning) before one of the kids needs my assistance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm not sure how effective Epsom Salts are at "Detoxing", but as you are supposed to stay in them for 20 minutes or so, that should give me long enough to actually relax. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I may even make more use of my essential oils that I have been neglecting of late!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Guided Meditation three times per week</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The older I get, the more I'm drawn to the idea of meditation and yoga and the whole mind/body balance concept. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm really not great at shutting out errant thoughts though, so the idea of me taking up meditation by myself and spending some time NOT thinking about all the things I have to do, doesn't sound likely to succeed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to use a guided meditation app. I'm going with the Insight Timer app which was recommended by Nicola Avery from Planning with Kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Hopefully this can tie in with the epsom salt baths, so I can kill two birds with one stone. After all, a hot relaxing bath seems to be the perfect time to do some guided meditation! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>To use my iPhone for only an hour a day, and to put it away for the night at 8pm</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is going to be the toughest one for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm the worst person for randomly searching for things on the internet (like holiday ideas for 2020) and scrolling through Facebook. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I regularly delete apps in an attempt to stop using them, but eventually they find their way back on there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I definitely hide behind my phone when I'm tired and grumpy. I know that using my phone too much makes the kids feel like I'm not paying enough attention to them (which I'm not!) and they are much better behaved when my phone is nowhere to be seen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Take an evening walk with the kids whenever things are stressful</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've seen it written in so many places that the best thing to do with kids is to get outside. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know myself that being able to get out of the house and just walk has a really positive effect on both my mood and the kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have the best conversations with the kids when we are in the car, or when we are walking. I actually prefer to head out on walks with no playgrounds in sight as for some reason it brings out the good moods and engaging conversation in the entire family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So on those days when we've been in the house too long, I'm going to get out of the house after dinner, for a short evening stroll (weather permitting). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Gratitude Diary</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When you are in a bit of a funk, or just plain got out of bed on the wrong side, it's so easy to forget how lucky you are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yes, I do know there are starving kids in Africa and women being trafficked as sex slaves, but when you are having a bad day, it can be hard to remind yourself of how good you have it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Plus, I love a good wallow in self pity, even though it does me no good whatsoever! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to try to write down 5 things that I am grateful for each evening. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I might not do this every day, but if I can do it 3-4 times a week I think it will make a real difference. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Use the computer once per week</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is another one which will be hard to give up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Much as I love my iPhone, I hate writing emails without a keyboard and sometimes you just need a bigger screen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is also going to be difficult over the next few months as we re-mortgage the house and prepare for the next round of home improvements, but I'm sticking it on here anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It might take a while to get to this place, but as long as I can see the intention, and have to reflect on whether I've achieved it, it will remind me that this is a goal that I haven't yet completed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Keep every other weekend free for our family</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This is massively easier said than done, given both the kids now have much better social lives than we do! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For me, it's important that we have some time and space to do things as a family, and to keep on top of the house and family life. We all need space to breathe, and there isn't much room to do everything during the week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I'm going to aim to keep some weekends free. So if we travel one weekend, the weekends on either side should keep us at home, with no weekend guests, so we can concentrate on homework and kids birthday parties and leisurely walks and time in each others company. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Phew, that looks like A LOT of habits to form. Funnily, I feel better for having written it out! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What habits do you need to form, and what is putting you off doing it? </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-83431312617275968782017-08-06T23:15:00.003+04:002017-08-06T23:15:46.644+04:00My Goal for 2017<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius32ijU5R445AKcrujGg-lvBGVywrPTHw_U98qKIM7bRw74qE_2l71Rm0uX5I6SmX2CzNuhcdC2WVNZgoFJxmrtBnxhY0EAurGhl4TSs2Cs3D-DzCBGs47cLmynv_DXf5JBQPY9kRl5c/s1600/neven-krcmarek-246988.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius32ijU5R445AKcrujGg-lvBGVywrPTHw_U98qKIM7bRw74qE_2l71Rm0uX5I6SmX2CzNuhcdC2WVNZgoFJxmrtBnxhY0EAurGhl4TSs2Cs3D-DzCBGs47cLmynv_DXf5JBQPY9kRl5c/s640/neven-krcmarek-246988.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px; text-align: start;">I would encourage you to set really high goals. Set goals that, when you set them, you think they're impossible. But then every day you can work towards them, and anything is possible, so keep working hard and follow your dreams.</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><i>Katie Ledecky</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Following on from my last post, it is time for me to set a goal, a New Year's Resolution if you will. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I appreciate that I'm a little late in the day for New Year's Resolutions, but better late than never, and I guess the phases in people's lives don't adhere strictly to the modern calendar.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Not everyone will be ready for a Resolution on the 1st of January. It may come later than that, much later in my case. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I wasn't ready then, I was too busy waddling through the last few months of pregnancy, and getting ready to attend one of my best friend's weddings. I didn't have the head space for a Resolution. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I have the head space now. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I regularly read the <a href="https://planningwithkids.com/the-blog/" target="_blank">Planning with Kids</a> blog, which is amazing and great reading. If you like reading blogs, this is likely to be another to add to your list. Nicole Avery has decided to have a single goal. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Once she had that single goal, she set out the habits she wanted to form to achieve that goal. You can read more about her decision <a href="https://planningwithkids.com/2016/12/30/a-single-goal-for-2017/" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">So I've decided to follow Nicole's lead and have a single goal for 2017. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><u>My Goal for 2017</u></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">It took me a little while to put my finger on my goal for 2017. There were lots of ideas for my personal development whirring around in my head, but none of them seemed like an appropriate goal, which I could then break down into habits that I wanted to work on. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Eventually I wrote them all down... with an actual pencil (I couldn't find a pen - we were on holiday) and paper. Once I had them all written down in front of me, a theme gradually emerged and, after a lot of deliberation, the goal kind of wrote itself. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">So my goal for 2017 is to <b><u>improve my mental and physical health</u></b>. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I realised that a lot of the times when I get frustrated, or I'm not the person I want to be, the better side of myself, it's because my general health is slipping. Either I'm not getting enough sleep; I'm not getting enough exercise; I'm not taking the time to do something which is just for me. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I read somewhere that it's important that everyone takes time to themselves to refill their tank, because you can't pour from an empty cup. I'm not sure I'm saying that right, but I'm sure you get the gist. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">My kids demand a lot of time and attention, as they should, they are my people! Unfortunately, so does the never empty washing basket. (I can't be the only one who feels like the washing basket magically refills itself ALL THE TIME).</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">So I need to look at the time I have, and make sure I am utilising it as best I can, so that I have enough time for self-care, so that I have the patience and the energy to take care of everything else. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I think I'm going to break it down into two parts, my physical health, and my mental health. I feel like it's really easy to focus on the physical health, because it's usually obvious and something difficult to ignore. Mental health tends to get shoved to the back of the to-do list, and I think it's something I really need to work on. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I'm really looking forward to working towards my goal for the rest of the year, and I'm hoping to do monthly updates on my progress. </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px;">I'm excited to see whether a focus on this area of my life can really reap rewards in other areas too. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">What are your goals for the year and how do you intend to fulfil them? </span></span></span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-79083285283844918432017-08-02T23:53:00.002+04:002017-08-03T00:02:33.721+04:00Returning... and burn out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><i>Burnout is what happens when we ignore the soul whispering against an unhealthy job or relationship.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><i>Dr Dina Glouberman</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I cannot believe it's been two whole years since I typed a single word on this blog. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Time has literally flown by, and I have no idea how we got to here! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Although it's easy to lose two years when you do the following:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Buy a house</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Rip out the kitchen (on the 3rd day after moving in)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Spend three months prepping the kitchen (aka bomb shelter) for the new units;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Interview for and get a brand new job</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Settle Miss S and Mister L into nursery</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Go back to work and juggle the logistics of working and children</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Gain two stone</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Get pregnant</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Gain five more stones</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Settle Miss S into her school</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Give birth to Little S</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Have a slow recovery from said birth. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Hmmmm... I get the feeling Gary and I don't exactly take things easy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I say this given we are about to embark on the second phase of doing up our house which entails do the bathroom, fixing our leaking roof (which is a much bigger issue than we initially thought!), re-do the garden, redecorate and carpet the hall, stairs and landing (which is huge in a four storey house). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Looking at that list above makes me dizzy, and I'm the one who lived it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">There's one thing I think is definitely missing from that list above. Self care.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">In the whirlwind of everything that has happened over the last couple of years, both Gary and I have had little to no time for self care... and it shows. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I think we are both pretty close to burn out... if not already there. Gary masks it better than I do, I'm the grumpy, negative one who stresses about everything, even things that aren't relevant (which holidays we'll take in three years, for example). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I am exhausted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Recovering from a third pregnancy has been slower and more frustrating than ever. My hormones have still not settled down six months after giving birth, and I am seriously struggling to shift the baby weight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We've just returned from a short holiday, and that holiday made me realise that things had to change. That I could not continue on the path I was on, because it was causing misery for everyone, especially the kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The only person who can bring in the necessary changes is me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I need to treat self care as another essential component of my life. On a parr with food shopping and getting the kids to school and nursery. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">We are finally beginning to feel settled, it really has taken the full two years. We now have friends, a support network, access to the right exercise/gym for each of us. Life finally has a rhythm and enough space for us to work in that self care. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It's funny, I was feeling so stressed out and so burnt out and close to exhaustion that I wondered whether I had hit post-natal depression.... until I read back through this blog. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My posts after we had repatriated... well quite frankly they scared the hell out of me. I have no memory of things being SO BAD. I cannot remember that feeling, I can't touch it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Reading those blog posts made me feel incredibly sad for the little me who was sitting in stressful misery two years ago. It also made me realise that while things have been a little tough lately, I'm definitely not in as bad a place mentally as I was then. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Reading those posts made me want to write again. Not for an audience, not as a profession, but for me. So that I remember everything, both the highs and the lows. I want to be able to feel how I felt, when I read back through these pages. To chart our life as a family, and my progress and development. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I want to be a better me, but I can already see that 2017 me is in a much better place than the 2015 me. I've already been through tougher times and that makes me excited about the possibilities going forward. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So I'm back, hopefully writing something worth you reading! </span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-78949083102038592622015-08-20T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-02T23:53:53.529+04:00Taking a Little Time Out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have been trying my hardest not to write this post. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">But, I have admitted defeat. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Moving continents with two toddlers has been considerably more difficult than I had ever anticipated, and I expected it to be pretty tough. Buying a house has taken more time than expected and there have been a lot of bumps in the already bumpy road. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I'm struggling with settling into the UK, getting into a routine and getting settled, because we still aren't. I know when we finally complete on our new house, then things will get easier. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Trying to maintain the blog has become too much to add on top of everything else we need to adjust to. It's particularly difficult because our Macbook Air is on it's last legs and freezes up every twenty minutes. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I've run out of time to catch up and keep everything spinning. So I've decided to take a little time out until we are settled into our new home and I have my beloved iMac back up and running. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I'll still be running my weekly linky #wineandboobs and so I would really appreciate your support with that. I'll also still be following on social media, but for now my new content will have to wait. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I've got so much to write about, but not the time to do it at the moment. But I will be back! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">See you all soon and thank you for the support so far. </span></span></div>
The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-33877228187895232642015-08-17T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-02T23:54:08.090+04:00Repatriating - The Stress<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I've been stressed before. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've taken exams, lots of them, often unprepared. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've moved town, country and continent, twice over. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've moved countries when eight months pregnant. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been pregnant and given birth, twice. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've even planned a wedding on a different continent from where we were living.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">None of the above comes close to repatriating to the UK with two toddlers. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have never felt stress like it, and even now, as we have been in the UK nearly two months, it isn't subsiding. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had no idea that stress could feel like this, or that it could have such a physical effect on your body. I don't remember pregnancy having such an overwhelming effect, and I had pretty bad pregnancies (hyper emesis for almost the entire nine months).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the moment I feel so lost. I knew it was going to be hard, I knew it was going to be a big adjustment.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Knowing it and feeling it? They are two completely different things. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm doing everything possible to make the transition as quick and easy as possible, but even that takes time. Rome was not build in a day, and neither is a new home. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, for those of you about to repatriate, here are some of the things you might need to be watching out for: </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anger - Searing, burning anger:</span></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have never been the most patient person, but having two toddlers has taught me a huge amount about it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My patience has grown and was (at the point when we began preparing for repatriation), the best it has ever been. Even dealing with toddler tantrums was becoming routine and not a cause for the angry bull in a china shop. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Currently, I'm always about a inch away from raising my voice. My temper is at breaking point when I open my eyes in the morning and it is often still bubbling away when I'm trying to get to sleep. My toddlers and my husband are bearing the brunt of it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm shouting at minor things that my toddler's do, like they've committed some major crime. I routinely confiscate toys and say no to things that I should say yes to, even though my actions are definitely going to make things worse for everyone. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm reactive, rather than proactive. I'm probably not behaving much older than a toddler myself. I know it, but that voice in my head that usually steps in if I start to lose my cool? Nowhere to be bloody found. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This also coincides with difficult behaviour from both toddlers, which is, no doubt, due to the stress of moving. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm applying Balance essential oil blend like it's going out of fashion, and diffusing Bergamot and Lavender at any chance I get, but even they are struggling to get my temper back under control. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have, on several occasions, barricaded myself into the bathroom with my iPod and spent a minute blasting music, while the toddlers bang on the door. Usually in the foetal position. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>Apathy - Like a Dead Sea Slug:</u> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This apathy usually surfaces when my anger has burnt itself out. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">More than anything, I want to be outside with the kids. First of all, it stops the usual whining. Secondly, it's the only way to meet people (and hopefully make new friends). </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But... I just can't be bothered. On several occasions I've put the kids in the car to go to a playgroup, and just driven. Driven around for forty minutes and then gone home. I just can't face having to face the real world, and as long as the kids are quiet in the car, I'm happy to drive around mindlessly. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I often spend time sitting on the sofa watching CBeebies. Seriously, me watching it, never mind the toddlers. The effort involved in getting myself off the sofa and doing anything that really needs doing, is often too much. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This does not help my mood, or my energy levels when it gets to the end of the day and I still have a major list of jobs to do. </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Loneliness - Lonely but Never Alone:</span></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think this is the one that is hitting me the hardest. I've lost my mummy community. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was unbelievably lucky in Dubai, I stumbled upon a group of wonderful, amazing people and we've supported each other through thick and thin. Our first babies were about five months old, and we were all in the new mummy stage, where we didn't have a clue what we were doing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We swapped tales; asked questions; played "who got the least sleep last night"... and in the process, true friendships were formed. Friendships that I am currently pining for. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I want to do, almost every minute of every day, is go and sit on Laura's sofa and talk about anything and everything. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to spend hours talking about toddler eating habits; debating who will be the next to get pregnant; asking random questions about potty training (or lack thereof). In short, doing nothing more important than talking about the weather. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not even because I want to talk about the important stuff like buying a house (which is crazy complicated) or settling Miss S into her new life (much as she doesn't want to). I just want to talk about nothing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to listen, to hear about everyone's crazy nights, or the silly things the kids have done. I want to sit amongst my friends and bask in the warmth of the laughter and the piss taking. I want the camaraderie and the light hearted banter. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want it so badly that it physically hurts. It cripples me at odd times of the day, when driving the car; when songs come on the radio; when I'm sat in the silence of another midnight wake up. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In writing this, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to my friends here in the UK. They have been amazing. They have travelled from wherever they are, made the effort and been simple fabulous. I am more grateful to them than I can say, and they are getting me through these difficult weeks. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The problem is that one or two people (who don't live round the corner) cannot fill the void left by five or six girls who were close by and available for playdates and mummy's nights out. I used to go out of the house twice a day, and the majority of that time it was to go and meet a mummy friend and their toddlers. </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Heartbroken - "Go Home Mummy":</span></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I completely underestimated how hard this move would be for the toddlers, Miss S in particular. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought that if I got her straight into nursery, and regularly attending playgroups, I could avoid there being too much pain adjusting to living in the UK. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was wrong. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did not realise that two year olds really do have friends. Whenever people use the term "friends" to refer to Miss S's playmates, I used to smile, amused. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I used to think that as long as Miss S had someone to play with, it wouldn't matter too much who it was. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miss S asks for her friends at least three or four times a day. By name. She asks to go and see them, she asks why we can't go on an airplane to see them. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She asks to go home. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every. Single. Time. I feel like my heart breaks a little more. I feel like bursting into tears and I need to bite my lip to keep them back. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Explaining that we can't "go home" to Dubai because we don't live there anymore, is so much harder than I thought it would be. Mainly because I'd quite like to "go home" and see my friends too. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully, most of our friends are coming back to the UK this summer, to escape the Dubai heat. And even more thankfully, we'll get to see most of them, maybe more than once. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although part of me wonders if this will only make the transition worse in the long run. Seeing friends, only for them to disappear again. It's something I'll have to chance though, because seeing the joy on Miss S's face when she sees a familiar face, is something I cannot wait to see. </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Weird - The One to Avoid:</span></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know this particular feeling comes from paranoia. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those that know me, this might be a bit of a shock, but I hate meeting new people. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not new people who are friends of friends, that's totally fine, the more the merrier. A room full of people I don't know... where I'm expected to mix and mingle and get in with the small talk, gulp. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's makes my palms sweat, which is really not a good start. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At these playgroups, my kids are off playing, and I'm feeling like the really weird one that no one really wants to speak to. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm hoping that it's more in my head, than what people are actually thinking, but you can never be sure. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know it takes time to make real friends, but I really really wish I didn't have to. I was happy with my quota of friends, I wasn't in any rush to add to the number. But as they are all (almost all) still in Dubai, I suppose I'll have to put myself out there and go on the hunt for mummy pals. </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Emotional - Like a Pregnant Person Gone Wrong:</span></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I never actually cried during pregnancy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wasn't one of those women who well up at the adverts on the TV. In fact, I spent most of my pregnancy feeling like I was cold as ice, because nothing made me cry. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, I could give the first trimester hormone rush a good run for it's money. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm literally crying at the drop of a hat. Songs I haven't heard for ages make me cry - Lena Marlin "I'm sitting down here" I'm looking at you. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Random busker in the street singing "Somehow here again" from Phantom had tears leaking from my eyes without my permission. Seeing old photographs of friends in Dubai makes me practically go into meltdown. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not pretty, and I don't know how to stop it. I don't even have the excuse of actually being pregnant! How ironic. </span></span><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sick - As a Dog: </span></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, I am definitely not pregnant. I have three negative pregnancy tests to prove it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's how seriously sick I feel. It's like the first trimester of pregnancy all over again. Which is something I never want to repeat, especially when NOT pregnant. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought it was the stress of moving continents, but four weeks after being in one place, still sick. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought it was the over consuming of the wine, but I've stopped drinking, still sick. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought it was because I stuffed my face with gluten, cut it out, still sick. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought it was because I'd managed to get pregnant, three negative pregnancy tests, still sick. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seriously, whatever my body and my mind are doing, which is causing me to feel like I'm heavily back into the morning sickness, it has to stop, and soon. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm in a place now where I'm feeling a little more relaxed, and a little more settled. We are about to move into a rental house, while we wait for our new home purchase to work through, and we won't need to move again until we move into our actual, hopefully forever, home. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought at this point, with all the major things overcome, that I'd feel better, but I don't. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seven weeks and counting, can we just give up with the nausea please? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, because none of the above is positive. Repatriating IS hard work. It's a huge change, and it's made much, much harder with toddlers to carry through it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm writing it down, because it all felt alien to me, I didn't expect it. Not expecting it meant that I have found it harder to deal with it. So if this helps one person work through the repatriation process, my work here is done. </span></span></div>
The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-82337193685714645852015-08-13T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-02T23:55:15.047+04:00Review: iCandy Peach Pushchair System<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When I found out I was pregnant with Miss S in early 2012, I was at a complete loss. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd never even really held a baby before, and I certainly had no idea what to do with one, or what you even needed! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was also 3,500 miles away from family and friends, in the Middle East. So I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully there are loads of internet forums and websites that give you lists and advice on what you need when you have a baby (and lots of what you don't need, but that's beside the point here!). </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having established that we needed a pushchair, I began wading through the options, and felt vaguely panicked. How on earth are you supposed to choose a pram when there are MILLIONS available? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eventually Gary and I set down a few rules on what we wanted: </span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> A pushchair that was a single, but that could be converted into a double;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">A double that was not a side by side, so I didn't have to worry about moving around shops and malls;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One that was recommended on the internet forums I used;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">One that looked a little bit different from the usual black.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I appreciate that the list isn't the most comprehensive, but as I say, we had no idea what we were doing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I stumbled upon iCandy relatively quickly and loved the colours and styles. At that time, iCandy were working towards the release of the iCandy Peach 2, but it wasn't going to be available in the small window of opportunity I had to buy one whilst in the UK at six months pregnant. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">iCandy weren't available in Doha at the time, so if I wanted one, I had to get it in the UK. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Out of the iCandy models we decided on the iCandy Peach 1 because of it's ability to be converted into the double at a later date. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After a brief argument, we decided on the Tomato colour way. Gary thought the Blue and Green colour way was a little bit girly for him (I totally disagree), and we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl at that stage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm still convinced that Gary refuses anything blue on principle, and just wants the red as he is a Manchester United fan. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Whilst I haven't used many other pushchairs, I'm still really pleased about our choice to buy the iCandy Peach. It, and it's Peach Blossom Double, has served us really well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know that the iCandy Peach is now on it's third version, but as they are still similar to the original iCandy Peach, I hope this review helps those of you who are currently looking for a pushchair to rule in (or rule out) the iCandy Peach. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">What do you get? </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEJl8IDQPestN3v-AyZvf2DtrDLBSZv0net53Yk6FWnSo5MkatKKNP5qWywKXQucPT7xId7RXZkuZWmC3dUVXrcgZocM5ceWyZLnUs6nI9w9M2mbcDtkrR7vwzz_ymb5UAYnDuMxWQzaY/s1600/iCandy+Peach+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEJl8IDQPestN3v-AyZvf2DtrDLBSZv0net53Yk6FWnSo5MkatKKNP5qWywKXQucPT7xId7RXZkuZWmC3dUVXrcgZocM5ceWyZLnUs6nI9w9M2mbcDtkrR7vwzz_ymb5UAYnDuMxWQzaY/s1600/iCandy+Peach+1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The iCandy Peach 1 came with the following: </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Chassis </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Main Seat</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Rain Cover</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Umbrella and Clip</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It didn't come with the carrycot, which is supposed to be used for the first six months. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As a new mum, particularly a first time mum, I was obviously going to use the carrycot to start with, so it felt to me like an essential part of the cot. But, and it's a big but, if you are buying the iCandy Peach as a pushchair for a child who is over six months old, then you won't want or need the carrycot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I know several people who are on their fourth or even fifth pushchair for the same child, and so it makes sense that you add the carrycot onto the purchase, rather than be forced to buy something that you won't use. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When you buy the carrycot, it comes with: </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Carrycot </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Zip Cover</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Rain Cover</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I bought the additional pieces to make the iCandy Peach into an iCandy Peach Blossom double when I was pregnant with Mister L.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I didn't purchase the additional carrycot, because Miss S was too big to need a carrycot. So I just bought the second seat, which came with: </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Second Seat</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Adaptors for the chassis</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Rain Cover</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The iCandy Peach also has adaptors so that you can use certain car seats with the chassis, we had the Maxi Cosi Cabriofix. These were (to me at least) completely essential. It is not easy to transfer a sleeping baby from the car seat to the pram, and Miss S always woke up! So being able to click the car seat onto the chassis and go was a real life saver. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The assembly is actually incredibly simple, but as with everything in life, you need to know what it is before it really seems simple. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">iCandy have these great videos that show you how to put the pushchair together:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They are essential viewing as I don't think (from memory) that the instructions you got with the pushchair were that clear, it felt like I was dealing with flat pack furniture. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It's worth noting that, no matter how simple the iCandy Peach pushchair seems to you, DO NOT let anyone random near it! I once used valet parking and they tried to pack my iCandy Peach away into the car for me.... I had to intervene after about five minutes because they were either going to break it, or themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don't think the warranty covers breaking by inept helpful people. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">The Look</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvLP3LKGGwGw2JXqvG7yGgjQPqGHZJN7Dz43a8hfiYC_UYMQ4KR2MT_KK_KBaGwrQXhUw2GhhtztERML3znsRdV9VTuXl5IY7OfPiphee3S1coFNf8o2KPDBVabgbx328KkdCB9Cg4nQI/s1600/iCandy+Peach+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvLP3LKGGwGw2JXqvG7yGgjQPqGHZJN7Dz43a8hfiYC_UYMQ4KR2MT_KK_KBaGwrQXhUw2GhhtztERML3znsRdV9VTuXl5IY7OfPiphee3S1coFNf8o2KPDBVabgbx328KkdCB9Cg4nQI/s320/iCandy+Peach+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I still love love love this pushchair because of the way it looks. Even when ours was smeared with toddler snack and muddy footprints from muddy little feet, the colour made sure that it still looked pretty smart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The inner padding unzips, and we've machine washed ours with no problems. It all zips back together really well and I've had no problems with it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I also sent it to a stroller spa before we left Dubai, and it came back so shiny and clean and new I almost cried. So worth it after three years of gunk and grime from my two toddlers. I have no idea how they do it, but it's amazing! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm seriously jealous of the new colours of the iCandy Peach 2 and 3. But even if we venture into the realms of a third child, I don't think I'm going to be able to justify a new one, the old one is just holding up so well!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Ease of Use</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLuNeiLiUURbWM4WGoKKR5dM6hzk8i91YHkib5S9R3vEOV-S9Ycw1RU9IDOGN4m4nt08I_szQEdj9DyylvzqwRZYW_2QP2AQaIO0fD8FDQqT-0SwgwigpsQLtZftwgUodm4pChyphenhyphen8fIpJM/s1600/iCandy+Peach+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLuNeiLiUURbWM4WGoKKR5dM6hzk8i91YHkib5S9R3vEOV-S9Ycw1RU9IDOGN4m4nt08I_szQEdj9DyylvzqwRZYW_2QP2AQaIO0fD8FDQqT-0SwgwigpsQLtZftwgUodm4pChyphenhyphen8fIpJM/s320/iCandy+Peach+2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">First of all, the iCandy Peach Blossom double folded up and fitted in the boot of my Mazda 2. Anyone who owns one of those very tidy but rather small cars will know that is an impressive feat in itself. I had to remove the boot lid to get it in, but it did go in, and it didn't take too much of a struggle. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Adjusting the seat angle and removing the seat works by using the two buttons, one on either side of the seat or carrycot (the ability to angle the carrycot was great for my two reflux babies). The mechanism was smooth, and I've actually been able to drop the seat without waking my sleeping baby with no problems. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Dropping the chassis so you can put it in the boot is a really smooth motion, and it's pretty light. I had no problems lifting it in and out of the boot by myself, even when I was only a few days out from giving birth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The seat can be forward or parent facing in the single iCandy Peach, obviously there is less choice in the iCandy Peach Blossom Double because you have to fit both seats into it. I know that in the newer versions of the iCandy Peach the two seats are the same size, as are the carrycots, which makes everything a bit easier, particularly when you are using one carrycot and one seat, as you can swap them over as needed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It has a huge shopping basket, which has been fabulous for me. Trying to manoeuvre a shopping trolley and a pushchair is a nightmare. You do lose the ability to use most of it when it's set up as a double, but there is still some room in the shopping basket even then. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I usually do shopping with one toddler in the pushchair and one in the carrier, which means I can still use the shopping basket. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My view on this is somewhat different because I've been in the Middle East, but I've found that the aftercare from the iCandy stockists does vary quite a bit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Whilst we purchased the iCandy Peach in the UK, we bought the iCandy Peach Blossom additional seat and adaptors in Dubai, which was where we were living at the time. The iCandy stockist there were not massively helpful, and it was impossible to discern whether they were able to send the pushchair off for repair if needed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was also requested to contact the stockist I had bought the pushchair from. Cleary I'm not going to be able to wander into the stockist in Yorkshire, when I'm 3,500 miles away in the Middle East. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So whilst I had very few problems with the iCandy, the problems I did have weren't easily resolved. The cable in the handlebars snapped about two years into having the pushchair. I suspect that it was because of serious overuse, I had the pushchair in and out of the car about eight times a day on average, which means quite a lot of stress on the cable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I ended up buying a repurposed one from someone in the UK, and had my mum bring it out with her when she came to visit. Luckily she was coming out less than a week after it snapped, otherwise I would have been left with no pushchair and no easy way to get it fixed. This would have voided the warranty, of course, but as this had already expired, it wasn't a concern for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The warranty itself is only valid in the country of purchase. So if you are like me, having bought the pushchair in one country, and the double adapters in another, you might find repairs a little bit more difficult to navigate if the warranty is still valid. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">iCandy themselves have been really responsive both by email and over Facebook messaging. I haven't tried to contact them by telephone, as I was in the Middle East and would like to avoid a huge telephone bill. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I really really love this pushchair, and I'm really pleased that this was the one we went for. I haven't really felt the need to replace it, or been that excited when I see other people's pushchairs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It has suited our needs, and we are still using it as Miss S turns three years old. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We are currently using a different pushchair. Miss S clambered into the pushchair while the footrest was raised (Mister L had been asleep in it just a few minutes before), and one of the connections snapped because she placed about 13kgs of weight on it! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As we were headed back to the UK, we placed the iCandy Peach in the shipping and on arrival to the UK we bought an umbrella stroller to see us through until we could get the iCandy back, and repaired. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Unfortunately I've not found the umbrella stroller to be as good a stroller as I would have liked. First of all, I thought it would be great for getting through the airport, as we could take the stroller to the gate, and then have it returned to us at the gate on arrival. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We bought the travel bag for the iCandy Peach (the single, I don't think they do a bag for the double), and it usually goes in the hold so it doesn't get damaged by being thrown around. So I thought the umbrella stroller would make airport transfer easier. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It doesn't. The stroller was taken from us at the gate in Manchester, but was not returned to us at the arrival airport, and it contained my Ergo carrier! So had I been by myself, I'd have been scuppered, because I had Miss S crying because I'd had to wake her, and Mister L who can't walk the whole airport by himself, plus a huge bag. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Thankfully I had family with me, who could carry Mister L and the bag so I could heave Miss S through the (mercifully short) airport. The brake on the umbrella stroller was also broken during transit, which is really frustrating. It's been sheared off so I don't think it can just be replaced. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So I would really rather have checked in my iCandy Peach and had it safely delivered at the other end. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I also hadn't realised how easy it is to push the iCandy Peach. It can be done with one hand, and it responds to a really light touch. I cannot wait to get it repaired and then we can get back to using it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'd happily buy another iCandy Peach (and really want to persuade Gary into a new one, just for the new colours if we have a third baby). It's been really hard wearing and sturdy, while being really practical for one or two young children. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Miss S can easily still sit in both the upper and lower seat (although this won't be an issue on newer models as I believe both seats are the same size), at three years old. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">To have a peek at the new iCandy Peach colours, go have a peek at iCandy World.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">*I have not been paid for this review, all the words and opinions are entirely my own</span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-73442952336557507212015-08-10T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-03T00:00:17.961+04:00Post-Pregnancy Body Changes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I wish I was one of those cute pregnant girls who wear skinny jeans throughout their pregnancies. But I just gain weight.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Jennifer Garner</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When you get pregnant, you understand that
your body is going to change. You understand that there is an entire human
being to grow in there, and that your organs are going to have to make room.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You know that during the pregnancy, sleep
will become more difficult. You’ll get backache, and your breasts will ache.
You know that things are going to change. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You also know that there will be a period,
after you give birth, where your body will not be normal. That there will be
excess fat stored in preparation for breast feeding, that your stomach muscles
won’t really know what to do with themselves. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What I didn’t expect, was that fourteen
months after the birth of my second child, that things are still different.
Still different even though I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight. That I’m
fitter and healthier than I’ve ever been. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So here are those post pregnancy body
changes that I haven’t been able to shift: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Backache: <o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My lower back is not a happy bunny. It
seems to take the strain of everyday life much harder than it used to. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I suspect that it’s because my core isn’t
that strong since I pushed and pulled it about during two pregnancies. Two
pregnancies with two children who behaved completely differently while I was
carrying them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I also have a rather large curve to my
back, which I think makes it worse. It’s always been there, but I suppose it
makes my back a bit of a weak point. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Even though I can do full press ups, and
full range sit ups without trouble. Even though I can do full burpees and even
full planks. My core is still weaker than it should be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I think pilates or some other exercises
that are specifically focused on my core is necessary, so that I can begin to
work solely on those muscles. I feel like the rest of my muscles around my core
are so much stronger, and that my core is just lagging behind. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Feet:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There is no denying it, I have wider feet
than I did before. I still resolutely stuff my feet into my beloved Gina shoes,
but even I have to admit that by the end of the night it’s like having my toes
squeezed to the point of pins and needles. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It has definitely not helped that while I
was pregnant, I was in the Middle East. So I was in the sunshine and the warmth
and I was wearing flip flops for the entire time we lived there. My feet got
used to the room and the lack of restriction, and have happily spread
themselves about. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Is there anything you can do about widening
feet? Other than continuing to cram them into shoes that are really not wide
enough. I want to be able to wear actual shoes again, especially now we are in
the UK and it’s cold enough to warrant actual shoes and boots. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Untamed Hair:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I used to love my hair. It was thick and
shiny and healthy. It stayed in a style after you had blow dried it and it was
a good enough colour not to need highlights. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Until my hormones got in the way. After I gave
birth I lost a record amount of hair. It came out in massive clumps everytime I
brushed my hair. In fact, quite a bit is still falling out fourteen months
after the birth of Mister L, my second child. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have wispy baby type hair EVERYWHERE. It
sticks up at odd angles no matter what I do with my hair. It’s growing at a
ridiculously slow rate and I’m getting really hacked off with looking like a
fuzz ball. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Blow drying my hair is a luxury at the
moment, but I even groan once that’s done. My hair doesn’t seem to have settled
into it’s new shape, and it constantly appears to be fighting with itself. It
doesn’t lie flat on top of each other, and it seems to just want to be as far
away from my head as it can. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I keep reading that in time it will go back
to the way it was, or at least to not being this bad, but I’m rather sick of
waiting to be honest. The hair gods planted some rather nice hair on me, and
I’d quite like it back!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sleep Positions:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I completely understood that I wasn’t going
to be able to sleep the same way, when I was pregnant. I knew that because my
body was changing, I would have to change the way I slept to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>accommodate it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">What I didn't realise was that even after I
got my pre pregnancy body back, that comfort at night was going to evade me. I
just cannot figure out, for the life of me, how my body now wants to sleep. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’ve tried my pre-pregnancy sleep
positions, they don’t work. I’ve tried my pregnancy sleep positions, they are
really weird if you aren’t pregnancy anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’ve tried every which way and I just
cannot seem to find a position that suits my post pregnancy body. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’ve used pillows of different shapes and
sizes, I’ve tossed and I’ve turned. That glorious sinking feeling I used to get
when I got into bed, seems to have disappeared for good. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’m most gutted about this one because I’m
a complete nightmare without enough sleep, and currently I spend a lot of time
tossing about until I seem to sink into a coma. I miss my bed and the comfort
it used to offer…. Someone bring it back! </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-12325138885470217912015-08-06T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-03T00:00:33.788+04:00Repatriating to the UK – Things that Surprise me:<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVooXiAudaKwJUe1u-Cfd83WVvBZOHkda9FHWhJ4DZbaK399NlDhxi7z9SmVUAZLy99nUZbBeBVMuH2BZVWFmOWDyv9vrBsdwpg8SwIaAnX-TA3b61bCgJGgqxkbhyLYEgC3stry8ADkc/s1600/Kid+and+Rain+-+Returing+to+the+UK+-+surprises.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVooXiAudaKwJUe1u-Cfd83WVvBZOHkda9FHWhJ4DZbaK399NlDhxi7z9SmVUAZLy99nUZbBeBVMuH2BZVWFmOWDyv9vrBsdwpg8SwIaAnX-TA3b61bCgJGgqxkbhyLYEgC3stry8ADkc/s640/Kid+and+Rain+-+Returing+to+the+UK+-+surprises.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Miriam Adeney</i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">There are so many things that we do
subconsciously. Things that become part of our routine, our everyday lives.
They are a seamless part of the fabric of our lives, and they are sometimes so
simple that you don’t even notice them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Until they disappear from under you. That’s
been one of the strangest things about repatriating to the UK, the little day
to day things that you completely don’t realise that you do. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Once they are taken away, and replaced with
a new set of routines, you soon realise how much you were reliant on the
familiarity of those routines and those simple moves you do over and over and
over again. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It makes you feel like you are fumbling in
the dark. You look like a bit of a moron as you try to go about in your home
country acting like you’ve never been there before. Trust me, I’m getting some
rather funny looks at the moment when I do something out of turn, something
that is against the UK’s own ebb and flow. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Here are the things about the UK that
surprised me:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Chip and Pin Machines:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">In Dubai I had credit and debit cards that
were still using signatures, no chip and pin. You handed your card over to the
person on the till, who swiped it, and handed it back to you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Have you tried handing over a chip and pin
credit card to someone on a till in the UK? Try it, they’ll look at you like
you’ve got two heads and point at the chip and pin machine, which is most
likely right in front of your face. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I have done this at least twice a day for
the last couple of weeks, and I just cannot seem to get it into my head. I did
actually start explaining myself the last time I did it, but that just made the
weird looks even weirder. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Prescriptions: <o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You need a prescription for just about
everything useful in the UK. This, obviously, is a good thing, so that you
can’t just go out and buy antibiotics everytime you get a cold, and develop
resistances to said antibiotics. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">However, when you live somewhere a bit more
rural than city centre Manchester, it can get really frustrating. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">When I eat too much gluten, my stomach
makes it known that it is not very happy. I used to have buscopan on
prescription (it’s an antispasmodic which helps to stop the stomach cramps) for
use as and when I needed it, but I’ve not yet gotten round to seeing a doctor
and getting a prescription for it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Not being able to just go and find a late
night chemist (these are also practically non existant here) and buy what you
need is really weird when that’s exactly what you’ve been doing for the last
four years. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If you really want to freak people out, go
into a pharmacy and ask for something like birth control pills (which you also
need a prescription for). Being eyed up like you are an active heroin user with
needle marks across your face is mildly entertaining. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">People Abiding by Traffic Laws:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And not just abiding by the law, but being
considerate about other road users. People in the UK actually let you out from
a side road, or into a queue of traffic, regardless of how big your car is. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They take turns. They smile sheepishly and
wave in apology if they do something that resembles less than competent
driving. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I haven’t been tailgated once. I haven’t
had a single incident of someone driving like they were trying to sit in my
backseat, whilst flashing their lights (which I couldn't see because they were
hidden by my rear bumper) and beeping their horns, even though I couldn’t move
over because the next lane was full of cars. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Driving is strangely peaceful. Dare I say
it, almost relaxing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Online Shopping actually works: <o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love online shopping, adore it! Although
admittedly I only used to use it for clothes shopping. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Supermarket shopping online…. I think I may
have fallen in love with it. I ordered nappies and baby wipes and all manner of
cleaning products and dry groceries (I’m a but OCD about picking my own fruits
and vegetables) and it turned up at my door, sensibly packed in plastic bags
and all ready to be slotted into my house. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The delivery guy was ten minutes early for
the time slot I’d scheduled and he even offered to take them into the kitchen
for me. Why would I ever go to the supermarket, with two kids in tow, ever
again?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">People think it’s hot!<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the most perplexing. I am aware
that I have acclimatised to the scorching heat of the desert, but even so,
there isn’t a heat </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">wave going on.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The lady who runs our holiday let told me
that she’d switched the heating around so that it only came on in the evening, in
fear of sweating us out of the house…. No need to fear, we are freezing! Even
sleeping in the air con has nothing on sleeping in an exposed cottage in a
rural location. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Desperately don’t know how to tell her that
we NEED more heating, in June, when everyone is out in t-shirts and shorts, and
I’m debating buying some thermal underwear. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>My Body Hates Me:</u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> It's rising up in protest at every available opportunity. </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My hands are cracked and bleeding, because apparently it's too damn cold and wet. </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My feet are aching and also cracked, because it's too damn cold and wet. </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My legs are dry and </span></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">flakey, because it's..... well, you can see the trend for yourselves. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My body has adapted to the blistering heat and is not too happy about being back in the cold, not one bit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Copious amounts of E45 cream is helping, but not curing it. I think my body is just going to have to toughen up...gulp, now all I have to do is tell it!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>The Water is Different:</u></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In strange ways. Yes I know it's drinkable, and I know it's cold, but I was expecting that. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wasn't expecting that when I prepare Mister L's bottles, the formula powder doesn't mix well into the water. It sits on the surface and it takes a lot of work to get it to mix, even when it's warm. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So that's my list of the things that I found weird when I first landed in the UK. What did you find weird about repatriating? </span></span></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-72622816028986240942015-08-03T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-03T00:03:01.717+04:00Sssshhhh... I like that Daddy is the favourite!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj09bd9NApTKWgJe4kLmsXPDMlMfk9fEnfsH5XXPSOWaXqiSJv7x-GV8t3YKpykPTPGOwUP7UdnJhV8RpiDzSwqfy6ddPbL15D1cme0GAK9GX6UjVsz1hPwaJVHS5nB8q-1g6L8rzpbPpk/s1600/Sunset+-+I+love+that+Daddy+is+the+favourite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj09bd9NApTKWgJe4kLmsXPDMlMfk9fEnfsH5XXPSOWaXqiSJv7x-GV8t3YKpykPTPGOwUP7UdnJhV8RpiDzSwqfy6ddPbL15D1cme0GAK9GX6UjVsz1hPwaJVHS5nB8q-1g6L8rzpbPpk/s640/Sunset+-+I+love+that+Daddy+is+the+favourite.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Mothers - especially single mothers - are heroic in their efforts to raise our nation's children, but men must also take responsibility for their children and recognize the impact they have on their families' well-being".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Evan Bayh</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I hear so many people complain that they (as the one at home with the kids), spend all day slaving away, looking after them, and once Daddy (or the other parent) gets home, it's like they don't exist. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For me, I love that Daddy is the favourite, for so many reasons! I think it's really important that I say it loud and proud, in case there are others out there who secretly feel the same.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’m absolutely sure I am not the only one
out there who generally has no problem that Daddy is the favourite. Except, no
one really admits to it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Everyone I know who has commented on the
inexplicable way that almost all toddlers develop a fascination with Daddy,
says it bothers them. That is upsets them that Daddy is favoured over them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So it’s time to say it, and say it rather
loudly. I actually rather like it. I like it because my kids miss their Daddy
when he is at work, and when he comes home, he is their main focus. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Obviously this is two fold, one of the
folds being that when he gets home, the kids pretty much pretend that I don’t
exist. It frees up my hands and my head, so that I can actually get on with
something useful, like cooking dinner or trying to tidy away the mountain of
toys that are piled up in the corner. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love when “Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, MUMMY”
becomes “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, DADDY”. I love it because it doesn’t grate on my
nerves, because I haven’t heard it repeated about sixty thousand times that day. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love that Mister L becomes a limpit,
permanently attached to Gary’s legs and demanding to be picked up, while Miss S
is pulling on his arm trying to show him what she wants to play with him next. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It means that I can step back, away from
the chaos of the day, even if only mentally. I am relieved from duties. There
is another, responsible, adult in the room, and the kids actually prefer his
attention to mine. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I can breathe. I can look at the room and
the house, and mentally process a to do list, and then get on with that to do list.
I can move quicker, I can be more efficient when I have both hands free. I can
side step the little ones, and they don’t even notice, their attention is
elsewhere. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I don’t feel guilty for doing the ironing,
or hunting out the Gruffalo from under the sofa, before Miss S has a bedtime
meltdown because he’s not in bed. I can check the time and begin winding things
down for bedtime, giving time warnings and gathering up the water cups and milk
cups that are inevitably going to be requested before sleep finally takes over.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">At the weekend, it leaves me feeling free.
I have myself back again, for the most part. I have a little more free space in
my head , space that can be used to
process plans for the weekend, returning phone calls and emails, to actually
talk about something I’ve been thinking about for a while. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We are still a team. We still get things
done, together, as a family. But with two hands on deck, everything is much
smoother. Things that have to be done, get done quicker, and it leaves time for
the fun. Even better, fun happens even when I’m getting things done, which is
bliss for both me and for them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes it’s frustrating, it’s not all
ribbons and rainbows. Like when inevitably, the child who is landed with Mummy
for bedtime has a major breakdown about it. But the majority, is just perfect
for me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And the second fold? I love that my kids
adore their Daddy. That their Daddy is every bit as interested in them as they
are in him. That he can happily put the kids to bed without much hassle (they
get rather excited when he comes home in the evening, so bedtimes are a little
more protracted). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’ve been lucky to have landed myself a
particularly good egg. We never know how our partners will be when they become
parents, and not everyone is a natural at it. Not everyone will shoulder the
burden of a newborn, like Gary did. Not every father will happily take on 50%
of the night feeds from day one, and still get up the next morning and go to
work, largely without complaint. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I see the luck and good fortune in my kids
faces when Daddy walks through the door. The way they jump up when the door
bell goes, and Daddy is standing on the other side. The light in their eyes
when Daddy is dressed in jeans rather than a suit, which means it’s the
weekend. The way their little hands rest on his knees, just to make sure he’s
still there. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Their Daddy is interesting, and interested
in them. And dare I say it, maybe even a little bit more fun than Mummy. He
comes home with a renewed burst of energy, and it’s infectious. Daddy being
home means more smiles all round, and that, can be nothing but a good thing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I love that my kids prefer their Daddy, and
I wouldn’t have it any other way. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-59071469092860389512015-07-30T04:00:00.000+04:002017-08-03T00:03:34.583+04:00My Ideal Family Holidays<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilHnSTfo9Rf-ZaCqIbLOyvDpjRvFvN97TZpJHxBB1yUTtI7lAKm7eiCpsY_Evcfnm-YboSuH8CH0eutcHJjhG20mI-uZAIRG0zZYpk97aZehyphenhyphenDQufcWYx5dKQ5KBR8Smg1acGgVrSvulE/s1600/3-liane-metzler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilHnSTfo9Rf-ZaCqIbLOyvDpjRvFvN97TZpJHxBB1yUTtI7lAKm7eiCpsY_Evcfnm-YboSuH8CH0eutcHJjhG20mI-uZAIRG0zZYpk97aZehyphenhyphenDQufcWYx5dKQ5KBR8Smg1acGgVrSvulE/s1600/3-liane-metzler.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When it comes to holidays, my perception of a holiday has changed rather a lot since we had children. Those long lazy days by the pool, where I could read a book and relax, are long gone! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The hotels that I would have dreamed of before, just aren't practical when you have two kids, and you want to actually enjoy your holiday. Even the locations of my dream holidays have shifted, to take into account the weather being just too hot or too cold to enjoy it with little ones in tow. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As we are returning to the UK, we'll need to start searching around for some sunshine, and so I've been on the hunt for family holidays that we can all enjoy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here is my current dream holiday list:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7vER-jxIjWJpIf4M3ypdAoKchTPiSRazFaehn6o7bY4n_S3_4SyOmibbwbtK3W17gf8tvP9os5oYRpYMDMwmh2m2zb6KsRkqettJgnc-J9nBVnuA6fOH0T67IilwtdasrOBsXmwboswY/s1600/centerparcs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7vER-jxIjWJpIf4M3ypdAoKchTPiSRazFaehn6o7bY4n_S3_4SyOmibbwbtK3W17gf8tvP9os5oYRpYMDMwmh2m2zb6KsRkqettJgnc-J9nBVnuA6fOH0T67IilwtdasrOBsXmwboswY/s1600/centerparcs.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Center Parcs:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I went to Centerparcs quite a few times as a child, and I absolutely LOVED it. I'm having a bit of a hard time convincing Gary that we should go here though, as he's worried it's like Butlins. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Although I think the new Treehouse and Exclusive accommodation might convince him, the idea of sitting in the hot tub while the kids are in bed with a bottle of wine might just swing it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I love the way that it has been completely set up for children, even for the really young ones. There are structured activities especially for them, not to mention the swimming pool. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Knowing that we can keep our young children entertained is a great relief. One of the things we found on recent holidays was that just sitting by the pool isn't enough for our two. They quickly get bored of the pool and want to go off and do something else. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mister L would be able to go and take part in some messy play, while Miss S was off at her Pirate Adventure or at the Chocolate Factory. We could all have a dip in the pool before wandering back to our own little home at night, where Gary and I could get some much needed time to ourselves. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are plenty of outdoor sporty activities to keep Gary busy, and theres even a spa for me. So it looks like a winner all round! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Centerparcs has five UK locations, and I'm also really excited by the idea of travelling to one of the European Centerparcs too!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IcgbAKUELftGpfXuLomnCJAPZhE5ngwUvoOm-AxlSsOmEVXXQMhV5hS-G24iPAMwS2AWjTQcrd5bhM4JyHSpZC4NeaqmErbTzpUve5ed_Nls6uuahZwI5REErFi20i7LAiY5zzOJj0o/s1600/Disney+world.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IcgbAKUELftGpfXuLomnCJAPZhE5ngwUvoOm-AxlSsOmEVXXQMhV5hS-G24iPAMwS2AWjTQcrd5bhM4JyHSpZC4NeaqmErbTzpUve5ed_Nls6uuahZwI5REErFi20i7LAiY5zzOJj0o/s1600/Disney+world.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Disney World:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is no way I could even consider writing about dream family holidays without including Disney World. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even though Miss S is not yet three years old, and Mr L has only just turned one, I'm already sneaking peeks at the enormous amount of information out there about planning your trip to Disney. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I think we'll wait until Mr L is at least two, to make the most of actually going, I'm so excited when I think of their little faces! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's so much to do at Disney, but we're going to have to try to plan some downtime to make sure we all don't end up tired and burnt out by trying to drag us all around the parks and see everything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm really excited about going to see Harry Potter World as well, although the kids will probably have no idea about Harry Potter when we first take them, I'm sure that the magic of Hogwarts will still keep them occupied. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACcpi3eiauO6gAQLlvDTmcYFLbaQ3Uo6M65vRWluD9dEPBjF00099r6P8YgjEhALnJ8QWfnBxcRjuDvuFs8rx-aRTUSWk6vnVTAWTwpzo-71RVNtQ9n5UMrprfY11R1n6-AAxYceaDj0/s1600/Italy+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="406" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhACcpi3eiauO6gAQLlvDTmcYFLbaQ3Uo6M65vRWluD9dEPBjF00099r6P8YgjEhALnJ8QWfnBxcRjuDvuFs8rx-aRTUSWk6vnVTAWTwpzo-71RVNtQ9n5UMrprfY11R1n6-AAxYceaDj0/s1600/Italy+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Italy: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Italy has been calling my name ever since my mum got married in Sorrento. I spend rather too much time day dreaming about wandering the streets and tucking into a beautiful bowl of fresh pasta. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Italy I remember wouldn't have been very child friendly, as it involved lots of time by the sea and with lots of good food and wine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, there seem to be an amazing amount of British families who have packed their bags for Italy, and have set up farmhouses that cater for young families. So it looks like we really might be able to have our cake and eat it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Time by the pool, check. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Play areas to occupy the kids, check. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Two bedrooms to ensure a good nights sleep all round, check.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Baby supplies, to save on the luggage allowance, check. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Private patio area for evening relaxation, check.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nearby restaurants for that bowl of pasta, check. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sounds like bliss to me!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where are your dream family holidays? I'm always looking for more inspiration and to add to our ever growing list! </span><br />
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1484627491938587464.post-36100238674760917842015-07-27T04:00:00.000+04:002015-07-27T04:00:04.407+04:00Recipe: Honey Mustard Chicken <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left;">As we are working towards leaving Dubai and moving back to the UK, where we will be just</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: left;">as busy, but with less help, I've started meal planning for our family in advance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I've been looking for great marinades for chicken or fish, for a simple and healthy, yet tasty dinner. This one was the first one I actually tried, and I loved it so much it's definitely staying on our favourites list! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's from <a href="http://www.simplyscratch.com/2010/05/grilled-honey-mustard-chicken.html?crlt.pid=camp.qu8RjcA0jUYJ" target="_blank">Simply Scratch</a> and it's such an easy recipe to throw together. I actually place the chicken in the marinade, and then into the freezer to eat at a later date. The extra time to marinade as the chicken thaws results in tender chicken that has the flavour of the marinade running all the way through it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't worry about the spices you are putting in there, it doesn't make the chicken spicy at all, both my toddlers happily ate it (until Miss S realised it was chicken and then refused to eat another bite). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Serves 4:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">INGREDIENTS:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1/2 cup of any Whole Grain Mustard</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1/2 cup of Honey</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Juice of 1/2 a Lemon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 Garlic Clove, smashed and minced</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1/2 teaspoon Paprika</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1/2 teaspoon Kosher Salt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1/4 teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DIRECTIONS:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whisk all ingredients in a small bowl.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reserve 4 tablespoons of sauce and then pour the rest over the chicken, toss and cover with plastic wrap and let it sit for about 30-45 minutes at room temp.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Preheat the grill on medium- medium high heat, grill chicken for about 6 to 7 minutes per side or until chicken is done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pour the reserved 4 tablespoons of honey-mustard sauce over chicken and let rest under foil for about 5 minutes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Serve.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJXShZdJLQUFewJ_p6EBN1J7AvjWx0lV0dY4YmzEd1U1IzHmkZJzaE1nllqdhQhTgolF203o0p_uNEWYxcATNJvehM_w78oBKsmkRhe-r8VeckvvGpchdze641MwsghIch1A0GHg3DKfo/s1600/Honey+Mustard+Chicken.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJXShZdJLQUFewJ_p6EBN1J7AvjWx0lV0dY4YmzEd1U1IzHmkZJzaE1nllqdhQhTgolF203o0p_uNEWYxcATNJvehM_w78oBKsmkRhe-r8VeckvvGpchdze641MwsghIch1A0GHg3DKfo/s1600/Honey+Mustard+Chicken.jpg" /></a></div>
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The21stcenturymamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02063386113883313240noreply@blogger.com0